International Men’s Day is today. For all the rabid man-hating men are forced to endure, and largely without recourse, today seems as good a day as ever to celebrate the awesomeness of men.

According to the official IMD website, the purpose of International Men’s Day is quite lovely. Well, mostly:

Objectives of International Men’s Day include a focus on men’s and boy’s health, improving gender relations, promoting gender equality, and highlighting positive male role models. It is an occasion for men to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular their contributions to community, family, marriage, and child care while highlighting the discrimination against them.

The ability to sacrifice your needs on behalf of others is fundamental to manhood, as is honour. Manhood rites of passage the world over recognise the importance of sacrifice in the development of Manhood.

Men make sacrifices everyday in their place of work, in their role as husbands and fathers, for their families, for their friends, for their communities and for their nation. International Men’s Day is an opportunity for people everywhere of goodwill to appreciate and celebrate the men in their lives and the contribution they make to society for the greater good of all.

Forgetting the whole “contributions and sacrifice” element, those not denouncing the day altogether have honed in on “improving gender relations and promoting gender equality bit.” 

The Guardian‘s take is that, “it’s clear why women have their day but men don’t really need the same. Perhaps fathers and sons should bond over domestic skills instead.” Right. I can just see my Dad bonding with my brother-in-law over a spirited discussion on the best eco-friendly cleaning product for cleaning the bathroom sink… 

The Washington Post praises IMD as another feminist day and a real opportunity for men to work on gender inequality because, “many of these men are surely blind to their own privilege and status in the world and within their own cultures.” Ah yes, check your privilege, men. You have no idea just how good you have it. Just ask the comet scientist guy.

And the list goes on. 

But as a devout patriarchal loyalist, I’ve compiled a non-exhaustive list of just a few reasons men are wonderful human beings. 

1. Men grow beards and beards are hot

2. Men make for some seriously awesome Dads

dad bathtime

3. Men are fantastic at fixing things. All the things.

i can fix that

4. Men always know how to have a good time 

funny gifs

5. They show us how to get in touch with nature

penguin_attacks_man

6. They’d traverse the Earth on a cracker if they thought it would make us happy

putin on the ritz

7. They always know how to make you laugh when you need it most

big lebowski dance

8. They fight to keep us free

soldier

Even though men eat paper towels like candy and are reluctant to accept directional assistance, we salute all the men out there. You are awesome and we appreciate everything you do.

Live it up, Patriarchy. Today is your day.

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