We’ve covered the recent push for Scottish independence here, here, and here. With the referendum vote coming up Thursday, the ‘No’ votes have abandoned polite dissuasion in favor of a more direct approach. The ‘Yes’ camp has also become a little less shy.

First, John Oliver. If you’re not familiar with the former Daily Show personality, know that he’s a bit colorful. He did a fantastic job of hilariously summing up the relatively complicated independence situation in a segment on his HBO show (slightly NSFW):

Queen Elizabeth II had been mum on the issue until this weekend when she strongly encouraged the Scots to, “think very carefully” about the upcoming vote. It’s also worth noting that the Queen’s favorite place to holiday is Balmoral Castle, a large royal estate in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. In the event of a vote for independence, the Queen would remain the symbolic head of state.

The political party pushing for independence is the Scottish National Party (SNP). They’re a leftist group full of progressive ideas for an independent Scotland that include the eradication of poverty and free higher education. The SNP is lead by Alex Salmond, the First Minister of Scotland.

P.J. O’Rourke has a scathing piece on the matter over at The Daily Beast:

Scotland’s economy will be the requisite Third World shambles. Scotland’s two dominant political parties are the leftist Scottish National Party and the leftist Scottish Labor Party. These can be counted on to vie in out-lefting each other. Cuba-with-chilblains, here we come!

The Brits won’t let the Scots keep the pound. The EU needs another Greece or Portugal dragging down the euro like the EU needs another bureaucrat in Brussels. Scotland will be reduced to using the 16th century pund scots, value soon equaling the Zimbabwe dollar—to the delight of bean-counters employing journalists who have expense accounts.

Scotland already has the essential Third World drug oligarchy -— Chivas Regal, Cutty Sark, Vat 69, Grant’s, Ballantine’s, Teacher’s, J&B, Black and White, Haig and Haig, Laphroaig, Dalwhinnie, Glenmorangie, Glenfiddich, The Glenlivet, The Balvenie, The Dalmore, The Macallan.

Then of course there’s renowned fashion designer, Vivienne Westwood, who hates England (even though she’s English) and wants an independent Scotland. Why? Because capitalism is awful. “‘I like Scotland because somehow I think they are better than we are. They are more democratic,” she told the Daily Mail. She also thinks, “the way of the world is quality not quantity.” If you figure out what that means, please let me know.

We can’t possibly have an honest conversation about Scottish independence without consulting The Simpsons’ own Groundskeeper Willie:

For the Brits concerned about losing their northern neighbor, never fear, you have the next Royal Baby in your back pocket:

The Mirror Royal Baby Saves Scottish Vote

And who doesn’t love the royal baby?

 

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