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Marvel Comics Introducing Social Justice Warrior Heroes With Names Like ‘Safespace’ and ‘Snowflake’

Marvel Comics Introducing Social Justice Warrior Heroes With Names Like ‘Safespace’ and ‘Snowflake’

“powers include materializing snowflake-shaped shuriken projectiles and pink forcefields (seriously)”

https://youtu.be/5PCWUCv1rnU

I wish I could say this is a parody, folks, but it’s not.

Marvel Comics is introducing a team of superheroes based on social justice warrior culture, and they are not making fun of it. They’re celebrating it.

Comic books sure aren’t what they used to be. I was never a huge comics fan, though as a kid I did like horror comics. The only reason I take an interest in this story is that it is yet another example of how this kind of thinking is invading American culture.

Oh, and the writer of this series, Daniel Kibblesmith (featured image), is a former writer for Stephen Colbert.

Matt McGloin writes at Cosmic Book News:

Marvel Fails With ‘New’ New Warriors

Sure to last all of six issues, Marvel Comics announces the “new” New Warriors, an SJW team of teen superheroes.

Written by a writer for the Stephen Colbert show (yikes!), Daniel Kibblesmith, with art by Iron Heart (double yikes!) artist Luciano Vecchio, the new New Warriors follows a group of teen superheroes that are mentored by the original New Warriors.

Apparently, what happens is that a law is passed that makes it illegal for there to be teen superheroes unless they have official government assigned mentors (what happened to the point of using costumes to hide one’s identity???).

Marvel.com offers: Former teen vigilantes Night Thrasher, Firestar, Rage, Speedball, Namorita, and Silhouette step up to impart their wisdom to a batch of promising young kids, teaching them the ins and outs of surviving as a hero in the Marvel Universe. But will they be able to bridge the generation gap?

And get this, the characters include twins named Snowflake and Safespace, who, according to the writer, are “psychic-er” than a regular psychic, and whose powers include materializing snowflake-shaped shuriken projectiles and pink forcefields (seriously).

When I first saw this, I thought surely it must be a parody. It is not.

Hat tip to Ace of Spades who has written a lengthy screed about this, in which he describes the characters and their supposed superpowers:

SJW Marvel Outdoes Itself, Creating an Entire Super-Team of SJW Stereotypes

You might immediately think, “Oh, SJW Marvel is making fun of SJWism, that’s progress, right?”

Oh, no my poor sweet naive babies. They’re not making fun of it. They’re celebrating it, embracing it. They called two characters “SafeSpace” and “Snowflake” to take those words back from the H8rz!

Yes, “SafeSpace” and “Snowflake.” I’m not making those up…

Other characters: “Trailblazer,” a healthy-at-any-size obese black teenaged girl. Marvel makes all black women lesbians (yeah it’s weird, but they seem to be employing the “Why have a two-fer when you can have a three-fer” rule), so let’s just guess she’ll be gay.

What’s her — I think — power? Well, because we really want to Relate to the Youth, she has a… “magic backpack of divine origin.”

What it does, I don’t know. But it’s a magic backpack, because teens love backpacks or something.

This is real. I say again, this is real.

“Screentime,” who is the internet come to life, a geek “obsessed with memes.” This “character,” and I use the term very loosely, was “exposed to an experimental internet gas” (what?!) and now permanently connected to “the world wide web.”

An experimental internet gas? What the living fuck is that?

Are you retarded?

Oh, and there’s a “Goth kid” — Marvel is so relevant to the kids of today! — who was given a dose of the “living vampire” formula and so is a half-vampire. This Goth has a bad attitude and craves blood. So its name is… “B-Negative.”

Much more from Ace here.

The video below is from the official Marvel channel on YouTube and features Kibblesmith talking about the creation of this sad nightmare and the individual characters:

I don’t believe I have ever actively rooted for something to fail.

I am now.

Featured image via YouTube.

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Comments

theduchessofkitty | March 19, 2020 at 4:10 pm

No parent of a past or current toddler would consider these Perpetual Toddlers “superheroes.”

Social justice anywhere is injustice everywhere. #PrinciplesMatter

What? No Douchebag?

notamemberofanyorganizedpolicital | March 19, 2020 at 4:17 pm

If you want a good laugh…….

Hollywood is losing Billions right now!!!!!!!

Hollywood Scrambles As It Loses Millions (Billions?) to Coronavirus, and I Just Can’t Stop Laughing

http://acecomments.mu.nu/?post=386383

I never “got” comic books, not even as a kid. Mad Magazine, on the other hand……..

    tom_swift in reply to scooterjay. | March 19, 2020 at 5:22 pm

    The only long-term survivor of the EC lineup. Now those were comics. There was even a book about how they (“crime comics”) were corrupting youth; Wertham’s Seduction of the Innocent, leading to the formation of the Comics Code and the end of fun. Wertham never mentioned EC by name, but that was obviously his target. The industry was terrified of the Senate stampeding off after Wertham’s absurd screed, and the “voluntary” code became de rigeur for any comic actually sold on newsstands. And only MAD survived.

This is excellent news. Why, two primary reasons.

1. Marvel is creating new SJW characters instead of rewriting the history of existing characters and morphing the legacy characters into some adulterated pretzel to fit their agenda.
2. These new woke SJW characters will be forced to stand on their own economic success, if any.

We are beginning to achieve a peak in the SJW cultural war. These woke a$$hats truly believe that these new characters will have mass commercial appeal. I doubt it, but even if they succeed in catering to a niche market they will have demonstrated that the SJW woke brigade is just that, a niche market that can’t attract support from a wide audience.

Finally let us hope that the rest of the woke SJW brigade will follow suit in developing their own parallel institutions and stop recasting ours to fit the ideological preference of the few.

So is DC comics changing WonderWoman into a trans? I dare them to do that… double dare. See how that movie plays out versus Gadot.

2smartforlibs | March 19, 2020 at 4:30 pm

Remember back in the day when there was for lack of better term Truth justice and the American way in comics.

    2smart, I grew up with Superman on tv and in comics. The Lone Ranger, Captain Midnight, Hopalong Cassidy, Zorro, etc. Each and every one was for good over evil. None would EVER relate to today’s propaganda-driven sjw’s.

healthguyfsu | March 19, 2020 at 4:33 pm

Which one has the power to doxx the comic’s critics?

I loved comics. Thor, Fantastic 4, Spiderman, The Avengers, X-Men. Kids would buy and exchange them, and I read them all.

Stan Lee wrote several books about Marvel, and his big innovation was to put real content into a medium that was generally thought to be for kids, and therefore vacuous. He found out with Thor that comic books could contain the great themes of literature, starting, for instance with sibling rivalry. The brand was wildly successful.

And of course, the women had to be interesting. Interesting mean beautiful, of course, but also strong, talented,intelligent, and capable.

The Marvel franchise is crammed with a zillion great movie scripts.

Marvel created two very complicated characters, Spiderman and Wolverine, again wildly successful.

So Disney, which is now run by bean counters, bought ’em, and insists on running the franchise into the ground with political drivel. The sound of axes grinding in the background is all the audience will be able to hear.

    Olinser in reply to Valerie. | March 19, 2020 at 6:45 pm

    Disney isn’t the primary villain. I think they definitely ACCELERATED the decline, but the comic division of Marvel was going full speed on the Woke Train years before Disney bought them.

Kibblesmith seems familiar and reminds me of someone. That unque blend of effete creepitude and arrogance and hubris.

Chicken Farmer Himmler.

Bird cage owners, rejoice!

The woke folks DO NOT READ COMIC BOOKS.
Stop trying to suck up to people who do not buy your product.

If you’re wondering how this could happen, Marvel is officially “Marvel Entertainment Disney.” And Disney seems to have a talent lately for destroying the fun in every once-fun property it buys.

Then again, when comics were fun they were at best marginal businesses. Now (in part due to a lack of imagination in much of Hollywood) they are big business: Disney paid $4 billion for Marvel.

    forksdad in reply to Albigensian. | March 20, 2020 at 10:35 am

    When comics were fun they regularly sold half a million or more per issue. Now, 2000 sold or less is normal.

    Comics used to be huge.

I’ll take “Comic books that were cancelled before the first issue” for $1000, Alex.

That is S-O-O-O-O G-A-A-A-A-Y-Y-Y!!!!

They need to add a character. Name it Wuss.
.

Moon Battery | March 19, 2020 at 5:53 pm

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAAHAH!!!!

Do they really think the folks into comic book will buy that nonsense?

ScottTheEngineer | March 19, 2020 at 6:04 pm

Tranny Bane has already been taken by Steven Crowder

Can’t wait for Nitro to come kill this version…

As I’ve said. This is the final state of the diversity hiring everywhere.

Liberals take over an organization through the HR and hiring offices, then they hire ONLY other liberals.

If conservatives hire regardless of political affiliation, and liberals only hire liberals, given sufficient employee turnover, eventually the organization becomes EXCLUSIVELY liberals. And when your primary qualification for hiring is political, instead of little things like ability to do the job you’re being hired for, then they are significantly more political after being hired.

And then they worry about using the organization to feed THEIR goals, instead of furthering the supposed goals of the organization.

The primary purpose of a comic company is to sell comics. Over the last few years, after the SJW takeover was complete, you constantly heard this crap about them ‘sending messages’, ‘staying relevant’, and ‘furthering causes’.

One little thing missing from their goals? SELLING COMICS. A number of them have even explicitly said that they don’t care if they sell or not, because what they’re doing is ‘more important’ than sales.

And when the company finally collapses they move on to another organization and do the same thing.

Snowflake, Snowflake
Don’t trigger her for heaven’s sake
She’ll doxx you all over town
Oops, I used the wrong pronoun
Uh-oh, here comes Snowflake!

The Social Justice League!
It is getting harder and harder to figure out without “This is NOT a parody” label.
Worse, you can create interesting characters, some alien which is biologically nonbinary could have an interesting origin and backstory. Instead we get the crazies.

Until we take back our schools from the vile scum running them, enjoy the Adventures of Captain Flaccid and the like.

Let me guess, they will battle the evil corporatist and white supremacist OrangeRump.

One of their new superheroes could be “Kibblesmith”, whose superpowers involve materializing out of thin air a wide variety of dog foods.

So a few things.

Marvel Comics has been doing the self-destructive SJW thing for years now, long before the Disney acquisition. The Comics MATTER YouTube channel has been chronicling this extensively.

Marvel Comics’ sales figures aren’t actually relevant. They’ve been a loss leader for Marvel Entertainment Group (the TV and movie arm) for fifteen years. They’re an idea factory; making money is beside the point.

The New Warriors have always been a cringey attempt at shoehorning teen culture into comics. They’ve never not been this ridiculous (and I was collecting the title in the 1990s).

Sky Screamer: played by herself
Playdoh Pounder: chuck schumer
Crayon Crush: aoc
Mizzou Muscle: melissa click
Major TDS: adam schiff

Paul In Sweden | March 19, 2020 at 10:26 pm

It will be interesting when these Pansies encounter MEN.

nordic_prince | March 19, 2020 at 11:31 pm

Who’s Trailblazer’s sidekick? Thunder Thighs?

I await the super hero MSM whose super power is to spin lies, destroy lives, and cause panic among the public.

    CommoChief in reply to Cleetus. | March 20, 2020 at 9:18 am

    AOC and the ‘four freshmen’ were featured in a limited run comic book last year. Is that close enough?

Everything that Marvel capitalized on was Stan Lee. It’s time is over, most of the recent endeavors have been flops.

Reformed Trombonist | March 20, 2020 at 9:49 pm

In the first issue, a Brownie Scout catches Safespace as he’s falling off a building. Meanwhile, a random 80-something woman uses her umbrella to beat up a thief who has just mugged Snowflake.

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