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San Francisco Launching New ‘Poop Patrol’ to Deal With Dirty Streets

San Francisco Launching New ‘Poop Patrol’ to Deal With Dirty Streets

“We’re actually out there looking for it.”

While San Francisco has been doing its best to become a model progressive city by doing dumb things like banning plastic straws, its streets have gone to hell.

Human excrement on sidewalks has become such a pervasive problem that the city is launching a “Poop Patrol.”

Heather Knight reports at the San Francisco Chronicle:

It’s no laughing matter — SF forming Poop Patrol to keep sidewalks clean

In a city where filthy sidewalks are many residents’ No. 1 complaint, City Hall has come up with a new way to deal with No. 2.

It sounds like silly elementary school banter, but it’s real. San Francisco is about to launch the Poop Patrol.

In about a month, a team of five Public Works staffers will begin patrolling the alleys around Polk Street and other hot spots in a vehicle equipped with a steam cleaner.

They’ll begin their shifts in the afternoon, as the city starts losing its sheen from overnight cleaning. The Poop Patrol’s mission? To spot and clean piles of feces before anybody complains about them.

“We’re trying to be proactive,” explained Public Works director Mohammed Nuru. “We’re actually out there looking for it.”

We’re all out there looking for it, our eyes trained on the sidewalks as we walk so as to avoid that awful squishy feeling.

I admit to giggling when Nuru told me about plans for the Poop Patrol the other day. But in a city where people called 311 to report feces a whopping 14,597 times between Jan. 1 and Monday morning, public piles of poop are serious business.

In this video report from the local ABC News affiliate, one woman asks an excellent question. “It’s a great idea. Can we get rid of the poopers as well?”

This is also a good point:

Gavin Newsom, who served as mayor of San Francisco for seven years, is now running for governor of California. He had a lot of nerve to tweet this:

Maybe just deal with the poop first.

Featured image via YouTube.


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He will win in a landslide. They’re going to need more power washers…CA is a big state.

Hmm, washing away all the evidence of
‘progressive’ success?

    JusticeDelivered in reply to Whitewall. | August 16, 2018 at 9:57 am

    “These should be basic human rights.”

    These are the things responsible people work for, and earn, they Are not a right.

    How about allowing citizens to use a BB gun on those defecating in or on inappropriate places? Videos of such might be pretty entertaining.

      MajorWood in reply to JusticeDelivered. | August 16, 2018 at 1:24 pm

      Actually, an airsoft would get the point across when used on appropriate fleshy areas.

      Two words which are often inappropriately used by the left, “excuse” when the better choice is explanation, and “right” when it should be privilege. They don’t misuse responsibility because it isn’t in their lexicon.

    alaskabob in reply to Whitewall. | August 16, 2018 at 1:08 pm

    Ah… the new America Poop Culture.

    The (white)wash down of the streets is the least “judgmental” approach to avoid the real issues. `The Left cannot come to the point of demanding civil behavior of this “useful” minority while going overboard on demands of the contributing members of society.

    The Left harps about “the more that is given, the more that is required” when discussing successful non-dependent members of society. I would say the those that require/demand/mooch much of society should be required to do more than someone who isn’t a member of the perpetually aggrieved.

I wonder how much they pay these poop artists?

Will they get a fair wage, after all, they have to do the clean up of the crap, kind of like the rest of the US will have to do for liberal cities after they have destroyed them.

    Whitewall in reply to oldgoat36. | August 16, 2018 at 3:06 pm

    I bet they are paid in pinto beans…

    JusticeDelivered in reply to oldgoat36. | August 16, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    After they destroyed them? I grew up in Flint, Mi, moved out of the city in 1966.
    What had been a nice middle class neighborhood was going downhill fast. The cancer which destroyed that neighborhood continued to spread, and today nearly all of Flint is a ghetto, the only difference being degree of ghettoness.

    Lots of hard working people in the city had to either continue living in the Shole or give all their equity away to the people who made it a Shole.

    The value those people received picking up homes cheap was probably more than their welfare benefits over the past forty years.

    Today, Flint’s largest income stream comes from shaking down county and state residents.

Looking for poop just before it comes looking for you is not being “proactive”—it’s retroactive, more commonly called reactionary. A response to an action which has already occurred.

Eliminating it before it happens would be proactive. And clearly they’re not even contemplating doing anything like that.

I note also that they’d prefer to talk around the real problem. This is human poop. When we refer to “third-world shitholes,” that’s the stuff which makes them that. Not something more pedestrian, like dog poop—that doesn’t make a city third-world, that makes it Boston. A town particularly noted for dog poo the same color as the sidewalks—very treacherous (what the hell are they feeding those dogs, anyway?) but not as conceptually disgusting as the human stuff.

Why not add more public toilets?

    MSO in reply to labrat. | August 16, 2018 at 9:03 am

    Exactly, much easier (and cleaner) to scrub toilet bowls than sidewalks, curbs, gutters and streets.

    MajorWood in reply to labrat. | August 16, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    Public toilets are the natural enemy of the homeless. My local library now has a sharps disposal box in each bathroom. I somehow can obtain toilet paper from the dispenser w/o having to rip it off the wall. That apparently is too difficult a concept for the homeless.

    The problem with liberals is that they keep coming up with solutions that would apply to reasonable people, without a clue that those who are the problem are as far from reasonable as you can get, which in essence is why they are the problem.

Liberals never consider the actual consequences of their actions since only intentions matter (or maybe only stated intentions matter). Thus, they simply wash the consequences away never seeking either a cause or a solution.

By leftist standards, SF is a sophisticated city and I am a deplorable.

Hey, they give out free needles to drug addicts, and free condoms to prevent AIDS, why not give out free adult diapers to the street sh!tters.

casualobserver | August 16, 2018 at 9:19 am

Imagine being a tourist or someone from overseas attending a global conference in SFO and coming across one of these people in the process of “dirtying” the street. Amazing that the city doesn’t seem to be able to get a grip.

“Human excrement on sidewalks has become such a pervasive problem that (San Francisco) is launching a “Poop Patrol.”

This is a public health crisis years in the making. However, I’m old enough to remember when Trump was ‘literally Hitler’ for describing other failed nations as ‘sh**h**les. But now that it’s twice upon a time, California passively accepts sidewalk sh**h**les. Because progressives! Besides, what’s a little dysentery, diarrhea, parasitic worms, fly infestation, e coli, hepatitis, etc. among ‘woke’ friends?

From the article: “In this video report from the local ABC News affiliate, one woman asks an excellent question. “It’s a great idea. Can we get rid of the poopers as well?”

That would require something other than poop for brains. In the meantime, let’s scream at Trump about dirty air & dirty water. Because progressives!

This just in: Urban outdoorsman to sue city on 1st Amendment grounds for destroying his ‘organic output sidewalk exposition’… in 5, 4, 3,…

Because everything is stoopid.

Recently a Chicago-based national medical organization cancelled their annual meeting in San Francisco citing the poop problem. I guess money [in the form of lost convention revenue] talks.

Socialist countries fall into two categories, the openly dictatorial and those that aren’t (yet?) totalitarian.

The still-somewhat-democratic-socialist countries have a universal and odd phenomenon: the lawbreakers are ignored and the state focuses its power on persecuting the law-abiding. I assume this is because everybody knows the scofflaws won’t follow the law no matter what you do.

The dictatorships just execute the law-breakers or throw them in prison.

My glasses had a smudge on them and I originally read “San Francisco laughing at new poop patrol.”

I thought the one skit that Portlandia failed to do was “Poop Fairies,” which are little creatures that come out at night to collect all the green bags that dog owners fill AND THEN LEAVE on the sidewalk because it is to icky to carry around.

I guess when Fauxcohauntus becomes overlord she can require Fourbux to stay open 24/7 to provide adequate facilities.

My most basic human right is that YOU don’t get to confiscate my income. GFY.

It is illegal to put untreated excrement or urine in a storm drain.

    murkyv in reply to puhiawa. | August 16, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    My first thought when I saw the picture

    Of course. The City Fathers are using a new illegal act to fix the first illegal act. Do they think poop in the gutter stinks less than poop on the sidewalk? The portion washing into the storm sewer creates a health hazard and pollution as it flows ultimately into the Bay or ocean. What do they think the sewage treatment plants are there for? What will the EPA say? The Sierra Club? The fishermen? The St. Francis Yacht Club?

Funny thing is the Newsom doesn’t mention the right of the people who are forced to do that job to have a little dignity and a job that won’t give them freaking nightmares.

The disturbing part is that for many people this will become the new normal, and they will think that this is simply the way things are.

Great plan, flush the human waste in SF Bay! Here’s a better idea, but some may think it controversial. Let’s feed the homeless to the hungry! A two-fer win…

Soylent Green is people.

The real problem is that the progressive fascists treat the homeless as children that they need to care for.

A real solution would be to buy land out in the Central Valley and build small shacks on it. Enforce the laws against vagrancy, pooping on the street and give those convicted of these crimes two optinsfirst choice is they go to jail for a 6 months paying all their income (welfare etc) until their out of jail and leave town. Alternatively they can move to the work farm were they will pay their income to the farm in exchange for housing and simple food.

Mister Natural | August 17, 2018 at 1:29 am

so you had to watch where you step?
now they’ll use high pressure hoses to clean it up, all the while creating an aerosol sh*t storm that you can inhale?
sounds great

So the guy spraying gets protective clothing but the poor people 50 ft down the sidewalk get the benefits of all that airborne nastiness.

The poopers are likely Democrats. Can’t put them in jail, they are likely voters.

Char Char Binks | August 17, 2018 at 4:53 pm

The new normal in a shithole city.