After being relegated to the Republican presidential primary undercard debate last week, presidential candidate Sen. Rand Paul decided not to attend. Mind you, debate stage rankings are based on national polling, but whatever.

Childish? Perhaps. But nowhere near as cringe-worthy as this ad released not by an unaffiliated PAC, but by Paul’s campaign.

“Audit the Ted” takes aim at fellow Republican contender, Sen. Ted Cruz for his close ties to big banks. As evidence of this, the ad cites Cruz’s Goldman Sachs loans.

Two crudely animated characters with British accents (?) chat with one another about Cruz’s “inside connections” and Paul’s standing as the only liberty-oriented, good-haired candidate. Meanwhile, the voices are from a rudimentary talk and play program. The whole ordeal is terrible from beginning to end.

Without further ado, “Audit the Ted.”

The first thing that comes to mind?

“Liberty constitution liberty constitution liberty constitution liberty constitution straw poll money bomb money bomb straw poll money bomb Alex Jones Bilderburg Big Banks secret prison campus founding fathers socialism liberty false flag. Fish sticks. Yum. I win the debate. Ru Paul Ru Paul. I win the debate.”

Sadly, we can’t rule out “beyond parody. “Audit the Ted” is almost identical to a 2012 election-era video mocking Ron Paul supporters.


Relatedly, I always read Paul’s campaign slogan, “Defeat the Washington Machine,” as “Defeat the Washing Machine,” and am reminded of my loathe of laundry.

Follow Kemberlee on Twitter @kemberleekaye