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“Shorter” Tweet of the Day

“Shorter” Tweet of the Day

You know the trick, Obama’s an expert at it.  Create a straw man argument by presenting extreme choices, in order to make one of the choices seem like the only reasonable choice.  It’s also called being a “shorter,” in internet parlance.

Nicholas Kristof of The NY Times is a shorter today by Tweeting (h/t @LachlanMarkay) a suggestion that Republicans want cutbacks so severe that there would be no police to protect citizens from some wild animals which were let loose in Ohio:

All or nothing.  All or nothing.


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Cowboy Curtis | October 19, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Given that he’s a Republican, I imagine he’d just shoot it. Us bitter clinger teabaggers tend to do stuff like that.

A good Republican could probably take care of that wild animal and even the one threatening his wussy liberal neighbor.

…What kind of idiot would reach for a phone instead of a gun when faced by a dangerous escaped animal?

The cops can’t get there in time to save you no matter how good their funding is!

Well, the Tweet didn’t say he was being threatened by the animal. So maybe the next call should be to the local zoo (supported by private donations) to elt them know there’s a tiger available if they want it.

Didn’t know a person who did that is a “shorter”, but yeah, that’s one of Obama’s more tiresome rhetorical devices. He also usually introduces it by claiming that “the American people” are being offered “a false choice,” casually suggesting that he’s the only person speaking genuinely. The guy is shameless.

And Kristof is playing the standard liberal game, and if you ever argue with liberals, you’ll eventually get this line, so it helps to know it.

Liberal: “Is there anything you wouldn’t cut / privatize? What about police and firefighters?”

Conservative: “If police and firefighters are all you want, you’re on our side. Our problem is with (… and fill in your favorite government excess here.)”

Isn’t that a false dilemma? I thought a straw man argument was where you mischaracterize an opponents position to make it weaker(build a straw man) and then attack that mischaracterization rather than the actual argument.

Vice President Joe Biden said … “murder rates are up, robberies are up, rapes are up”

Am I crazy or has this Administration just admitted that their law enforcement efforts are so bad that “murder rates are up, robberies are up, rapes are up” ?

Let me be the first to call for the resignations of Eric Holder and Robert Mueller. When any administration is this brazen about their inability to do anything, they deserve to be taken down.

    DEEBEE in reply to Neo. | October 20, 2011 at 6:22 am

    Not only taht, since they did not spemd all of the first stimulus on Law enforcement, which they could have, they must be for all ht emurders, rapes etc. that have occured since then. Goose and gander thing.

“Second Amendment”

How about: “Who do you call when Carlos Slim decides he wasted his $250 million on the NYT and wants it back?” Congress. The bill is sitting in committee waiting for the call. Far more likely than escaped tigers in John Boehner’s neighborhood.

“What’s a lion doing in a man’s house, anyway?”
Charlie Madison, The Americanization of Emily.

[…] TO KRISTOF: Boehner would pull out a gun and make a rug. As would many millions of other […]

Imagine Nick Kristof at home threatened by an escaped wild tiger, and his Republican neighbor can’t get close enough shoot the animal because a recently passed liberal gun law in New York forbid him from transporting the weapon over to his neighbor’s house

Imagine Nick Kristof at home threatened by an escaped wild tiger, and his Republican neighbor won’t shoot the animal because he’s afraid of being prosecuted under the Endangered Species Act.

Imagine Nick Kristof at home threatened by an escaped wild tiger, and the police won’t come because 97% of the public safety funds goes to pay for union retiree pensions and benefits.

Imagine Nick Kristof at home threatened by an escaped wild tiger, and the tiger is hunting him down because he’s been kept in a cage with nothing but shredded NY Times opinion columns as bedding, and has gone completely mad because of that. 🙂

That would depend on which parts of government are cut. I don’t think cutting the Department of Education would have any significant effect on the outcome to the scenario described. If anything, as individual development replaces self-esteem and equalization as motivating forces in education, I would guess that anyone confronting a mortal threat would be more likely to mitigate it effectively.

At the risk of restating the obvious, what is most telling about this twit’s tweet is the automatic assumption that only the Gov’t can do anything about anything.

Of course, when one is as incapable as a Leftist, this is true — unless the Gov’t is run by incapable Leftists.

I hope someone uses this line against Perry next year.

The Sheriffs of Muskingum County (who shot the animals)aren’t funded by the Federal Government. Ohio currently spends $9 billion on local enforcement; but twice as much on their welfare and public pensions (over $20 billion).

An escaped Tiger is less of a hazard than the predatory appetites of permanent welfare recipients and public sector unions.

I don’t know about Boehner, but Rick Perry would exercise his 2nd amendment rights, then call the police to get the dead tiger of his lawn.

well, I assume Boehner would have a gun to protect him and his home from this tiger. See, problem solved. Also, not sure how fast the cops could get there anyways if the tiger is that close.

how much do these journ-o-listers get paid? They don’t seem intelligent at all.

Obviously, Boehner’s neighbor was being threatened by a man armed with a banana, to which the obvious reaction is to release the tiger. Where the tigers wanders off afterward is not covered in the self-defense course.

You could be killed by a fruit wielding assailant many times over before the police arrive with their own tiger. You need to have your own and know how to use it.

Another thing: A healthy live tiger is probably worth quite a lot of money. Make the right phone call and there could be a competition to capture it and a nice finder’s fee for you.

    BannedbytheGuardian in reply to epobirs. | October 19, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    I was waiting for someone to point that out. The value & not just in monetary terms of a tiger is huge.

    Any vet could do a better job than a police man . They train 6 years for a chance at this stuff.

    I trust that the local community would rise to the challenge & rescue a terrified tiger & bring fame to their town.

    Only an idiot would shoot it dead.

      The medications, and dosages for each animal can be very specific. What puts a tiger to sleep might be a whopping overdose for a lion (even when dose-adjusted for weight) or cause convulsions in a giraffe; get it wrong and the animal dies as surely as if the projectile was jacketed lead. Then there is the issue of obtaining the proper substance in the necessary quantities. And even if you do knock one out, it will only stay down for so long, will need attentive care while anesthetized, and will need to be re-housed very quickly lest the drug wear off.

      It is not a job for your average pet vet, or even a typical large animal vet. This would require the knowledge and expertise of someone already versed in the care and handling of each specific animal – the kind of people who work at world class zoos.

      None of which would come cheap, easy, or fast enough to address the problems associated with having these animals running loose in a populated area.

    AzPatriot in reply to epobirs. | October 19, 2011 at 11:24 pm

    I’m sure there was not enough local people with tranquilizer dart guns to attempt to capture the lions, tigers, and bears alive. I wouldn’t go after a lion or tiger unless armed with a .416 Rigby or better. I’d hate to see the scene of the police dropping lions and tigers with shotguns, pistols, and ar-15 rifles. The animal’s deaths were definitely not clean and quick if the police dispatched them using their typical arsenal of weapons. Sad but necessary to protect further tragedy.

    To the original post’s reference to the @NickKristof tweet, this guy is obviously clueless in regards to federal funding and protection of the civilian populace by local police. Most police forces facing the most drastic cuts are in highly urban areas run by democrats with high murder rates despite draconian gun laws imposed on law abiding citizens while their local tax revenue cannot support policing themselves. The feds should bail them out? Self responsibility has been completely lost in these areas, however, go to about any city in Montana, Wyoming or Alaska and announce this emergency and see how many hunters come out to help.

Um, do I use my .30-06 or my .45 Colt lever action? Maybe my 12 gauge with slugs? Oh, Lord, think, Peter think!

Uh oh, too late The tiger done ate Kristof. Oh, well.

LOL, Kristof thought he was being clever there, though the joke is on him. We rubes in flyover country would just shoot the damn beast, like the guy in Idaho did with the bear that wandered into his backyard when he thought that his kids were outside.

MaggotAtBroadAndWall | October 19, 2011 at 11:21 pm

I’m sure if the 11.5 million Ohioans want to pay for more police, first responders, or animal rescue workers, they’ll elect themselves Democrat state legislators who will be happy to raise their taxes so so those services can be provided.

I really don’t know why that burden should be shifted to those of us in the other 49 states, which is what would happen if Boehner gets involved.

Kristof illustrates perfectly why Obama’s “mini jobs bill” of scamming money from the federal government to distribute it to the states to bail out their teachers and first responders is wrong and needs to be opposed. If the states want more teachers, they can raise taxes and pay for locally.

@NickKristof Imagine govt so big that it can give u everything u need… but it can also take everything u have… including ur twitter #idiot

Jusuchin (Military Otaku) | October 19, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Twitted back: @NickKristof Simple. An Ohioan with a legal hunting rifle goes to work. We’ll provide a job to the Taxidermist who picks up afterward.

Colorado Wellington | October 20, 2011 at 1:03 am

Kristof see Tiger. Tiger see Kristof.
Kristof say: Oh, no! Tiger eat Kristof!
Kristof call Dora.
Dora say: Oh, no! Tiger eat Kristof!
Dora say: No, Tiger! No eat Kristof!
Tiger go away.
Kristof think: Tiger eat Boehner.
Kristof laugh.
Kristof tweet Tiger eat Boehner.

If I understand the twit’s tweet, he thinks that the police are trained to do this sort of thing. Silly me. I thought that they were trained to investigate crime and arrest criminals. “Crime prevention” is more like community outreach, like telling citizens to lock their doors and don’t leave your keys in your car.
A few years ago, in Baltimore County, Maryland [the home of the former free and now enslaved], a herd of buffalo escaped from the owners farm and invaded a gated community’s swimming pool 5 miles away. The Police were called and could not do anything because they were not trained to combat that sort of “crime”. The local zoo people and maybe some veterinarians were called in and the buffalo were “captured. I think they were sentenced to a butcher who made buffalo burgers out of them.

As many have said in so many words … Big Boom Stick vs Tiger results in smoking Boom Stick and dead Tiger.

Sure, it is a shame that the tiger had to be put down. But much better to put the tiger down than many other consequences.

Of course, with the right garage and a chunk of raw meat I’m thinking trapped tiger. (that way madness lies…)

This tweet implies that Kristoff would consider himself helpless in the same situation and he ignorantly assumes others would be so, as well.

Midwest Rhino (not RINO) | October 20, 2011 at 9:06 am

Imagine we keep spending so much, and Bernanke prints so much money that we have a dollar collapse. This leads to another global meltdown, and perhaps a great depression and much unrest. How peaceful does angry Joe Biden think that world would be?

Or imagine that Kristof gets his Marxist government (or whatever) and the unicorns don’t show up, and we instead get Russia style mafia government (or Chicago style if you like).

btw, it’s not the tiger you see that is the problem, its the one the kid in the street does not see. Boehner could stay in the car, but if he was licensed to carry, he could get his gun and eliminate the threat to human life. Tranquilizers take many minutes to work (even if they were available in proper dose for the particular animal). One actually was “tranq’ed”, but still had to be shot as it attacked the vet.

As they say, when seconds count, the police are only minutes away, and an armed society is a polite one.

In the 1960’s case of the Texas sniper, Charles Whitman, the local police did not have a swat team, they asked and relied on citizens in the area to grab their hunting rifles and provide cover. One citizen was deputized to go in and help capture Whitman. There was a time it was expected that citizens could be first responders.