Manterruptions.

If not for TIME magazine, I’d have gone along my merry way, ignorant to the fact that manterruptions exist. No, it’s not a fun, colloquial expression used by youngsters these days. The author is quite serious about the trials and tribulations forged by manterruptions.

What’s a manterruption, you ask? According to TIME, a manterruption is, “unnecessary interruption of a woman by a man.” But if you’re sensitive to gender specific phrases, “talk-blocking” is manterruptions gender-neutral synonym.

Cited Example: When Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift as she was accepting her award for best female music video in 2009 saying, “Imma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time.” In all fairness though, Kayne tends to live in his own Kayne planet where the sun and the moon rise and fall at his bidding; so I’m not sure that’s the best example as it’s an outlier, but since that’s the one TIME provided, we’ll roll with it.

According to TIME, manterruptions are a workplace epidemic, and another tool of the patriarchy to keep women down.

“When a woman speaks in a professional setting, she walks a tightrope. Either she’s barely heard or she’s judged as too aggressive. When a man says virtually the same thing, heads nod in appreciation for his fine idea.”

And the result? Women hold back. That, or we relinquish credit altogether. Our ideas get co-opted (bro-opted), re-appropriated (bro-propriated?) — or they simply fizzle out. We shut down, become less creative, less engaged. We revert into ourselves, wondering if it’s actually our fault. Enter spiral of self-doubt.

In modern “feminist” rantings, there are almost always two common threads:

The first is sexism directed towards males. Men are never afforded special privilege or understanding. Rather, they should dwell in a state of perpetual contriteness to atone for the unforgivable sin of being a man.

Second is a severe lack of self-esteem. These women, for whatever reason, seek validation from every man that crosses their path. They lose their bloody minds when the men they work with focus more on work than said woman’s feelings. Rejected, spurned, and ovaried, these women vomit their hurt feelings all over the rest of the world in one massive glob of self-projection.

But never fear, if you’re the victim of manterruptions, TIME provides a guide to prevent further manterruptions; and I’m sure you’ll be shocked to know that most of the seven tips are, wait for it… sexist.

1) “Know That We’re All a Little Bit Sexist — and Correct for It” — unless of course you’re a woman, then know that you deserve to be treated differently because you have ovaries.

2) Establish a No-Kanye Rule (Or Any Interruption, for That Matter) — can’t disagree here. No one likes an interrupter, so don’t be that person.

3) Practice Bystander Intervention — because what every office needs is more people butting into other people’s business.

4) Create a Buddy System With a Friend — because the professional workplace is no different than kindergarten. Which actually explains a lot.

5) Support Your (Female) Colleagues — OVARIES. SUPPORT ALL THE OVARIES. BECAUSE OVARIES.

6) Women: Practice Assertive Body Language … And Own Your Voice — Aggressive body language does wonders for teamwork.

7) Support Companies With Women in Power — Sex of the CEO makes them superior organizations, clearly.

The only way to absolve the sin of manterruptions is with sexism directed towards men, it would seem. That’s modern “feminism” for you.

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