There’s a lot of talk today about imposing a coffee mandate on employers, including Mormon institutions which oppose the use of caffeine, because of the health benefits of coffee.

Not enough.

It must be a “good coffee” mandate.

We have something here that’s free and they call “coffee,” but the lab tests have not come back yet on whether it is coffee, chemically speaking.  (Yes, I’ve seen the labels on the small bags containing the substance, but I’m not yet convinced.)

Even if I am currently receiving coffee benefits for free, I insist upon free good coffee, because to do otherwise would be to deprive me of choice.

Keep your hands off my coffee (except when you pay for it)!

I have rights!

 
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