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You Can Order COVID Tests Starting Wednesday, But They Ship in 7-12 Days

You Can Order COVID Tests Starting Wednesday, But They Ship in 7-12 Days

“7-12 days? Are they calling it Operation: Derp Speed?”

What a mess. You can order free rapid COVID tests starting on Wednesday, but they won’t ship for 7 to 12 days.

So who knows when you’ll actually get them:

The announcement of the website fulfills a promise President Biden made before Christmas, when he said his administration would purchase 500 million rapid at-home coronavirus tests and distribute them to Americans free of charge. On Thursday, Mr. Biden announced his intent to purchase an additional 500 million tests, bringing the total to 1 billion. The administration has already contracted for 420 million tests.

But the lag in shipping means that Americans may not have access to the tests until the end of January at the earliest. In some parts of the country, that may be after the peak of the current surge of coronavirus cases, fueled by the fast-spreading Omicron variant.

The Postal Service will handle shipping and delivery through first class mail, the officials said.

Quarantine only lasts 5 days! This is beyond ridiculous.

I’m not the only one who noticed a problem with this.


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If the late night comedians were actual comedians they would be all over this.

It’s like the old Soviet Unions jokes Ronald Reagan used to tell.

“There’s a ten year wait for an auto in the Soviet Union. You go through quite a process when you’re ready to buy, and then you put up the money in advance. This man, he laid down his money, and then the fella that was in charge, said, ‘Okay, come back in ten years to get your car.’ And he said, ‘Morning or afternoon?’ and the fella behind the counter said, ‘Ten years from now, what difference does it make?’ and he said, ‘Well, the plumber’s coming in the morning.’”

    NavyMustang in reply to PrincetonAl. | January 14, 2022 at 7:58 pm

    I study Russian with a teacher in Russia via Skype. I sent her a video of Reagan telling his Soviet jokes. She died laughing!

The coming official line is don’t bother testing unless you’re high risk. Cold symptoms as of today are more likely to test as COVID than not, in the UK. They’re about three weeks ahead of the US.

Still it would be nice to know that you had it, as an immunity that you know about and can use in your personal risk management.

I don’t know that anybody is “high risk” for omicron.

“and distribute them to Americans free of charge”

As if they were free. Nothing is free. The only issue is determining who bears the cost.

Operation DERP Speed, ENGAGE!!!!!

Lovely. So by the time you get them, you won’t be sick anymore.

    henrybowman in reply to Ironclaw. | January 14, 2022 at 10:48 pm

    Well, you might get sick later, right?
    I’ve never used one of these (only had my nose poked by some bureaucrat).
    What’s their shelf life, and how do you get them developed?

Call it what it is: “Operation Brandon”

Why are so many people testing? Do the results drive a decision? If you feel sick, stay home until your symptoms subside. If you’re having trouble breathing or other serious symptoms, get medical attention. When your symptoms subside, get back to normal life.

Even the CDC has come around with the 5-day quarantine and none of you have no symptoms.

    For some, they have to in order to travel, to maintain employment (particularly if they aren’t jabbed), or so they can return to school.

    Others are paranoid, hypochondriacs, or “just wanting to know for sure” whether or not they have it.

Two weeks to durable, robust natural immunity. With early treatments, a high degree (99+) of viability even in high risk populations. Planned parent/hood was neither a good nor exclusive choice.

The USPS is already struggling to keep up with the mail volume it currently has, not helped by having plenty of employees sidelined because of quarantining. And now this is going to be dumped on them? It’s the front-line workers who are going to take the heat from people demanding to know where their kits are.

The one tweet that mentions bots claiming a bunch of these kits: I didn’t even think of that.

Anothen kicker. Home tests may not be accepted by employers because you can’t prove that it was you who took the test. There is no end to this stupidity.

What if at some later time you are asked by somebody “Have you ever tested positive for coronavirus?”

What if this home test gave you a positive test result?

You had better KNOW exactly what conditions trigger a positive test result and what conditions trigger a negative result. You had better know the risks as under a EUA you own all the risks (e.g. hazardous materials). You had better know the repeatability and reproducibility (Gage R&R) levels.

I suggest it is extremely reckless for any thinking person to go near any such kit. Of course, one could just trust liars and sociopaths.

Paul In Sweden | January 15, 2022 at 8:32 am

Due to possible exposure to family here in Sweden with Covid, this past Sunday my wife and I ordered online a package of 10 Boson Covid Antigen tests delivered to the door for 370SEK($41.05]. They arrived to our door two days later, Tuesday morning and we both tested negative. No problems. None of our other family have had problems ordering the tests either. Someone needs to straighten Biden out on the supply chain.

This is d/prog boneheaded show v go at it’s finest. Consider that the admin is only now ordering bulk tests despite massive funding authorization in the $1.9 billion Covid bill in March 2020. Why now? Panic among the ‘virtuous’ as the seasonal shift from South and Sun belt to Northern States occurs.

How insulting is this newfound urgency to distribute tests considering the absence of urgency during the Summer when red States were dealing with a seasonal surge from the far more dangerous delta strain. What gives with the differential response the Biden admin is displaying? Are we to ignore that a surge in blue areas receives, however belated, a federal response?

Everyone with any sense sees that the rollout will be a flipping disaster. The website will not remain stable for the first 24 hours of rollout. No way. The delay in filling the order plus shipping time results in a product delivered past the point of usefulness. All show and no go.