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New Yorker suspends CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin after he masturbated during Zoom call

New Yorker suspends CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin after he masturbated during Zoom call

“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video”

Grab your barf bag. You’re gonna need it for this one.

The New Yorker suspended Jeffrey Toobin who also works as CNN’s leading legal analyst, after he exposed himself during a Zoom call.

The story, as it was first published, left out any mention of what actually happened and instead said that he accidentally exposed himself, but the surrounding story didn’t match. VICE has since updated their story to include the details no one wants to read.


The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin for masturbating on a Zoom video chat between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio last week. Toobin says he did not realize his video was on.

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers,” Toobin told Motherboard.

“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added.

Two people who were on the call told Motherboard separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker’s biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; Evan Osnos was Joe Biden, Jelani Cobb was establishment Democrats, Masha Gessen played Donald Trump, Andrew Marantz was the far right, Sue Halpern was left wing democrats, Dexter Filkins was the military, and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts. There were also a handful of other producers on the call from the New Yorker and WNYC.

Both people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to speak freely, noted that it was unclear how much each individual person on the call saw, but both of the people we spoke to said that they saw Toobin jerking off. The two sources described a juncture in the election simulation when there was a strategy session, and the Democrats and Republicans went into their respective break out rooms for about 10 minutes. At this point, they said, it seemed like Toobin was on a second video call. The sources said that when the groups returned from their break out rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued.

New Yorker spokesperson Natalie Raabe said: “Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter.”

Toobin’s Conde Nast email has been disabled and he has not tweeted since October 13. He did, however, appear on CNN, where he is the network’s chief legal analyst, on Saturday. “Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted,” CNN said in a statement.

This is also a thing that happened and Toobin is amazingly, still employed:

More on that story from New York Daily News, back in 2010:

Greenfield is a pretty, ginger-haired, Yale-educated lawyer and writer who last March gave birth to a love child. The baby’s father is married CNN star and best-selling New Yorker writer Jeffrey Toobin. (Casey’s father is esteemed political pundit Jeff Greenfield.) Ever since we broke the news of her pregnancy, Casey has remained silent about the baby drama. But now some of her friends are fed up with what they claim is less-than-gallant behavior on Toobin’s part.

Greenfield, now 36, was in her 20s when she fell for Toobin, now 49, even though he was wed to Amy McIntosh, the Harvard sweetheart he’d married in 1986 and who gave him two children.

“Jeff and Casey saw each other off and on over the years,” says one source. “She was married to someone else for two years. After her divorce, she started seeing Jeff again. He said he was going to leave his wife for her. But, by then, Casey had begun to distrust him. She suspected he had several other mistresses.”

In 2008, when Greenfield became pregnant, and when she told Toobin the news, he offered her “money if she’d have an abortion,” says a source. He also allegedly offered to pay for her to have another child later via a sperm donor.

“When Casey wouldn’t have an abortion, Jeff told her she was going to regret it, that she shouldn’t expect any help from him,” claims another source.

Greenfield underwent a risky DNA test while pregnant, but Toobin didn’t provide his sample and stopped talking to her, according to sources. On the day she gave birth, Greenfield e-mailed Toobin, inviting him to meet his son, Rory. A source says Toobin didn’t reply.

Toobin ultimately cooperated with a DNA test that proved he was Rory’s dad. In February, a Manhattan Family Court judge ordered him to pay child support. When he refused to pay the full amount, say sources, Greenfield’s lawyer threatened to notify his employers and garnish his wages; Toobin then paid up.

So much grossness in all of this.

Throw this story into the 2020 blazing dumpster fire.


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he thought he was in a court and just dropped his briefs on the judges

Everybody keeps talking about how crazy the year 2020 has been.

But I’m really going to miss it. Never a dull moment, that’s for sure.

Get the man a raincoat.

Conservative Beaner | October 19, 2020 at 7:14 pm

He wanted to be a Sportscaster and do a Rod and Reel show.

Comanche Voter | October 19, 2020 at 7:15 pm

Jeffrey is aging, and his hearing has gone south. He was participating in an election simulation. He thought he heard “erection stimulation” and was doing his best to help the meeting along. A fellow can make a mistake.

‘Cause it’s easy once you know how it’s done
You can’t stop now
It’s already begun
You feel it runnin’ through your bones
And you jerk it out
And you jerk it out


So, let’s game theory this out a bit:

1) Jeff Toobin, married, is working from home on a Democrat Party rehearsal of their election night coverage and how they’re going to cover something that hasn’t happened yet.

2) Jeff Toobin, married, is ready, the MOMENT this ends, to, as Elaine said: “Take it out.”

3) Jeff Toobin, married, had his camera pointed at his face during the Democrat “rehearsal” of election night coverage, presumably.

4) Jeff Toobin, married, then had to MOVE his camera, so that whoever was on the other end could see that he had indeed taken the Bishop out and was ready to pounce on the Queen.


1) Did Jeff Toobin, married, finish? Was this witnessed?

2) Who was Jeff Toobin, married, showing his Bishop to. Was it another employee? Is this part of the investigation?

3) Does anyone believe this was the ONLY time in his life that Jeff Toobin, married, has “whipped out the pant snake for a little one-on-one time” during work meetings?

4) How is Jeff Toobin still married? Given his priors?

Submitted for consideration.

JusticeDelivered | October 19, 2020 at 7:28 pm

It is funny, and so stupid, him going down in flames like this.

Exit Question:

Jeff Toobin, allegedly still married, is 60.

Who in their right mind wishes to watch this shriveled old fart pound the pant snake to completion and do we need to sponsor an intervention?

Jeff Toobin’s wife is an idiot. She should have exited the scene when he was impregnating that intern, while he still had that sweet, sweet CNN money.

Now she has to settle for his sloppy, unpaid, thirds.

What a maroon.

Hey! No big thing!

guess he thought spartacus was watching

Even more disgusting than this episode is the way he seduced and impregnated a much younger woman and tried to force her to murder their child. And then to deny paternity and threaten to withhold child support from his son is reprehensible. All while married to his college sweetheart. I hope this no good son of a bitch gets a dose of karma soon. Rotten piece of shit.

    bw222 in reply to JimWoo. | October 19, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    Toobin is a real scumbag. The fact CNN hasn’t jettisoned him speaks volumes about the network’s lack of integrity.

Wait, so part of the problem is that he got caught? Doesn’t matter if the video is on or not, Jeff. Yank your crank on your own damned time, freak.

He was having a gay old time.

He needs help, and maybe this incident will teach him that.
Meanwhile, given the way he has publically judged so many and found them wanting, he has earned all the scorn and mockery that he gets.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, the content of his character. And he’s not even related to the Kennedys.

See, with crap like this, I always point out that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that this is the only incident.

From the information released:

1) Toobin was part of a Zoom call

2) A break was called, and Toobin apparently LOWERED THE CAMERA to clearly show his ‘me time’ before going to town

3) He then raised the camera back up and resumed the meeting after the break with absolutely no indication that he knew they saw it

It appears one of two things happened:

1) Toobin was jerking off and watching his camera because he gets a thrill from watching himself jerk off

2) Toobin was on another Zoom call and was jerking off for the benefit of somebody else

Either way, his total comfort in doing this in the middle of a company meeting shows that there is ABSOLUTELY NO POSSIBLE WAY that this was the first or only time he’s done this.

Just one more indication that our ‘elites’ are sick, twisted, and more importantly STUPID.

    JimWoo in reply to Olinser. | October 19, 2020 at 8:34 pm

    The only reason these so called “elites” are supposedly elite is because they say they are. Most of the talking heads, actors or other public persona that have gone public lately with their political views are horses asses. Completely undeserving of any accolades or admiration.

      Brave Sir Robbin in reply to JimWoo. | October 19, 2020 at 8:39 pm

      They are way better than you. You are a backward hick clinging to your gun and bible. And besides, you are racist. So shut up, or the they will have you beat up. Because free speech matters.

MoeHowardwasright | October 19, 2020 at 8:22 pm

Obviously he had a split screen going on his computer. Watching a little PornHub while participating in a boring Zoom call. Why is everybody in an uproar. /s

Attention Computer repairmen! Any computer brought in for repair from Toobin gets thrown on the Nope train to Fuckthatville, zip code one, for, oh, hell, no!

Does he have Anthony Wiener’s email I wonder?

October Surprise….Come On Man….can you say Chuck Barry…..

I’m afraid I would have a hard time—oops, sorry, make that would have some difficulty—explaining this page to a non-native speaker of English.

Pervs and the democrat party: one and the same.

I always knew Toobin was a wanker.

“the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker’s biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; … and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts.”

Here’s the problem: Jeffrey thought he was playing Bill Clinton.

What a time to rub one out.

Watched by who knows how many in all US airports.

Since CNN won’t fire him, we should imprint this into their brand, make it an automatic reference into every CNN story. “Breaking from America’s official masturbation station…”, “Keep your pants on, here is so-and-so to fill us in on the latest development…”,

With the demise of our major sports,this could become America’s new favorite pastime.

“Toobin” will become the eponym used in schools when teaching children how to masturbate. Hard to believe how close that is to reality these days.

soon I expect to see i haz a sadz memes about toobins masturbation addiction and how we must pity and support him. yeah…whip out that meme see how it goes…

So Jeffrey opted for realism in the simulation by acting out a little rub&tug through the debates. He’s just getting into the role folks, it’s called method acting!

I wonder if Tubin is getting any of these – it is spam, but if the glove fits…..

Hello Jeffery!

I am a hacker who has access to your operating system.
I also have full access to your account.

I’ve been watching you for a few months now.
The fact is that you were infected with malware through an adult site that you visited.

If you are not familiar with this, I will explain.
Trojan Virus gives me full access and control over a computer or other device.
This means that I can see everything on your screen, turn on the camera and microphone, but you do not know about it.

I also have access to all your contacts and all your correspondence.

Why your antivirus did not detect malware?
Answer: My malware uses the driver, I update its signatures every 4 hours so that your antivirus is silent.

I made a video showing how you satisfy yourself in the left half of the screen, and in the right half you see the video that you watched.
With one click of the mouse, I can send this video to all your emails and contacts on social networks.
I can also post access to all your e-mail correspondence and messengers that you use……..

HA, he must have been hacked by the same hacker that got the Steve guy at CSPAN.

WTF is wrong with these people?

“’I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers,’ Toobin told Motherboard.

‘I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,’ he added.”

Who besides Hunter Biden, whose hobby is apparently knocking up strippers and denying paternity when he isn’t shtooping his brother’s widow but I’m sure Hunter would expand his horizons and knock up the young daughter of a colleague, too (and deny paternity), or Anthony Weiner and the other members (no double entendre intended) of his registered sex offenders support group, reads Toobin’s statement and then thinks, “Yeah, anyone could have made that mistake. Totally understandable.”

Toobin would have been better off plagiarizing Costanza from Seinfeld (Dementia Joe Biden seconds the suggestion to plagiarize).

“Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.”

    Arminius in reply to Arminius. | October 20, 2020 at 8:06 pm

    I suppose I need to explain my “stream of consciousness” comment. I was reacting not just to the fact Toobin thought it was cool if he polished his own brass during a zoom call between him and his colleagues and people at a radio station in NYC.

    And I wasn’t simply reacting to the fact that Toobin obviously thinks it’s OK if he spanks the monkey while on a conference as long as it’s off camera.

    I’m also reacting to the fact that a lot of people in media are DEFENDING Toobin as if he’s some paragon of moral virtue and that masturbating while in a virtual meeting is perfectly normal.

    David Roberts and German Lopez, both of VOX, are two of the worst offenders.

    Jeff Toobin is one of the smartest, kindest, most decent human beings I’ve ever had the privilege of encountering. There are few people in media I admire more. That is all.

    – David Roberts of VOX.

    If one of the smartest people you know is too stupid to know you’re not supposed to masturbate in public then you have a bunch of really stupid friends. And if your shining example of “kindness” and “decency” is a guy who cheats on his wife for years with the daughter of a colleague who is nearly half his age, gets her pregnant, tries to coerce her to get an abortion, then refuses to acknowledge his own child and has to be taken to court before he provides for his own flesh and blood, then I can only conclude that all your other friends worship Satan and practice human sacrifice and cannibalism.

    Flashback: Steve Scully’s “character witnesses” were sewer dwellers just like Jeffrey Toobin’s are now.

    And Vox’s German Lopez tweeted:

    Not sure someone getting caught doing something almost everyone does should be a national story.

    I’ve started doing video teleconferences back in the late ’90s both for in Navy (active duty and when in the reserves) and when I worked for a defense contractor. These weren’t web-based apps but back then we had to have a dedicated, closed circuit link.

    Based upon my over 20 years of experience I can assure you that it’s not true that “almost everyone” gets an urge to masturbate while in a virtual meeting.

    Again, WTF is wrong with these people. Only a perv would do this. Only a perv would defend himself by saying he thought he was doing this off camera. And only a perv would be defending this guy as smart, kind, and decent, or that “almost everyone” does this.

    But I think David Roberts hits the nail on the head (It’s impossible to avoid the double entendres) with the operative term being, “in media.” I get the impression that when these people have virtual meetings they’re all pleasuring themselves just out of view of the web cam.

empiricallyobvious | October 20, 2020 at 11:24 am

Ahh, liberals…isn’t it amazing how much they deflect and project. Conservatives are supposedly harsh and mean spirited yet so often they are the ones exhibiting such behaviors…think Matt Lauer from NBC, Harvey Weinstein, Toobin, Epstein and now Cal Cunningham a married Democrat NC Senate candidate. All he’s doing is banging a disabled armed services member’s wife. All the while he preaches honor and integrity!
Tobin feigns superiority and integrity while breaking faith with his wife and children and seeking to force his mistress into an abortion and then trying to shirk his responsibilities as a man and father.
Gee, don’t you want him as your attorney?

A perfect example of what trash our media elite is.

Or, in the words of Michael Jackson…

Just beat it, just beat it!

CNN, where election simulation becomes erection stimulation…

Poor Jeffrey, he just misunderstood. He thought that it was supposed to be a simulated presidentially erection !!!!!

Wanker !!!