Shelter for Male Survivors of Domestic Abuse Opening in Indiana
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you or someone you know is the victim of domestic violence you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
Breast cancer awareness dominates the news in October, but the month also belongs to another serious issue: domestic violence.
Male survivors of domestic abuse do not receive as much attention as females. Experts in the field in Indianapolis want to change this gender gap by opening a shelter for these males.
Sheltering Wings has operated in Indiana for two decades. It has taken in women and children who have survived domestic violence.
Cassie Mecklenburg, the shelter’s executive director, admitted they have to do more for male survivors as well:
Now they hope to expand their wingspan to include men as well, whether they are seeking refuge with children or alone.
“It’s not only the right thing to do, it’s the needed thing to do for our community,” Mecklenburg said.
After the expansion of their residential facilities, Mecklenburg said they will be able to house “eight male survivors of abuse with the option to expand to 12.”
She said through her work she has found when “you build, they will come” because there is always someone who is seeking refuge from abuse.
Before this expansion, Sheltering Wings could only “provide hotel vouchers or referrals to other facilities.”
The stigma exists whether it’s with domestic violence or rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment. This is why males do not always come forward.
Sheltering Wings wants the males to know it is okay to seek and find help. With the ability to house the males, they can fully take advantage of the support from those who work in the shelter.
Males will not just find support and a shoulder to cry on. Sheltering Wings provides help in all aspects of life:
The first thing a survivor sees before entering the doorway into their new home is a sign that says: how many current residents are in the facility, and then breaks down that number into adults and children.
And then above the door in script are the words “This where the healing begins.”
The facility offers assistance with court orders, financial planning, job seeking and more.
Each residential space has its own bathroom and walk-in closet.
Each door and hallway is outfitted with a key-fob system.
There’s a courtyard, a gymnasium with basketball hoops and playground for the little ones.
There’s also a computer lab for residents. And a tv room with video games for teens.
Thankfully Sheltering Wings is not the only facility across the country taking these steps. Mecklenberg said other shelters have started to make changes to bring in male survivors, especially since more men have started speaking out about the abuse.
The BBC aired a documentary Abused By My Girlfriend in February 2019. Alex Skeel, 23, shared his story of abuse from his partner Jordan Worth. She “became the first woman jailed for coercive and controlling behavior in the UK.”
The documentary helped open the door when it comes to male survivors of domestic abuse. A Google search will bring you numerous articles on male survivors after the documentary.
If you or someone you know is the victim of domestic violence you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
If you or someone you know is the victim of sexual violence, you can reach the Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) by calling 1-800-656-4673.
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well, have never suffered physical abuse from a woman–at least not the malicious variety–the financial sort, though, have experienced in extremis–my father advised me regards marriage(under the lone star, at least)to remember that what’s hers is hers and what’s mine is hers and that so long as remembered that, things would go along a lot more smoothly
damned good advice
This is a great post, Mary, thank you very much.
I have several male friends that were sexually abused as children, one was tortured, and the symptoms are manifold.
Many transsexuals were sexually abused as kids, and need therapy, not a sex change. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps a great deal – and NO, it’s not electroshock treatment.
http://www.MaleSurvivor.Org also has resources to help, including forums where men can talk among themselves anonymously about their past and their present.
Male Survivor does many things, and one of them is keeping tabs on the legal scene.
If you were sexually abused as a child in NEW YORK, this is for you:
August 12, 2019
By Murray Schane
On Wednesday, August 14th, New York will open a one-year, one-time-only period where victims can file lawsuits against their abusers and the institutions that harbored them, regardless of how long ago the abuse took place, and even if the statute of limitations is long expired. This window of opportunity is short, and may never come again.
If you were abused in New York, this one-year window of opportunity is a potential chance at justice.
Make no mistake, the litigation process can be long and difficult. However, if you want to move forward with a lawsuit against your abuser and those who enabled him or her, DO NOT WAIT! You should contact an attorney you trust ASAP. Not sure if you want to sue? Contact a lawyer for guidance.
Personal injury cases are handled on what is called a contingency basis: that is, the lawyer is paid out of the recovery. You will not have to lay out a dime for the attorney up front. If the attorney does not secure a settlement or judgment for you, the lawyer gets nothing.
How do you find an attorney? We recommend that you contact SNAP, or one of the NY SNAP Leaders for recommendations. The most important part of selecting an attorney is finding someone you trust, and SNAP leaders can help you find and research attorneys so you can determine who is the best fit for you.
But whatever you do, DO NOT WAIT! There may not be another such chance in your lifetime.
Here are a couple of events that Male Survivor hosts:
Weekends of Recovery
In collaboration with MenHealing, these healing retreats across the U.S. and Canada feature a professionally guided program of support and healing for men over 18.
• Participants report healthier relationships and higher quality of life
• A team of expert trauma clinicians honors the diversity and safety needs of all attendees
More info here: https://menhealing.org/
Dare to Dream
Nationwide healing and educational events for survivors and allies.
• Documentary screenings
• Interactions with mental health experts and community leaders
• Insights into developing healthy habits and ending the cycle of abuse
By the way, they also have anonymous forums for family and friends of those abused. You can get feedback on issues you’re having…. I used it to great effect in 2009-2012. Very helpful… I was able to speak with men that have suffered and get insights into challenges I was having with someone I knew. Very complex, very difficult…
A significant percentage (somewhere near 40%, I believe) of domestic abuse victims are men. It is very much a tacit conspiracy of silence and shame to be a male victim. A woman can fight back, but a man never can.
Wow. SOMETHING finally explains joe scarborough.