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Massachusetts Lawmakers Consider Banning Balloons

Massachusetts Lawmakers Consider Banning Balloons

Violators would face fines up to $100

You can always count on state legislatures to focus on important issues, like banning balloons…

Tuesday, Massachusetts lawmakers debated a bill that would prohibit the sale and use of balloons, violation of which would be punishable by fine. Citing potential harm to animals and the environment, proponents of the bill were countered by lawmakers who mentioned such a rule might be harmful to business as well.

Reports have yet to mention how government’s most persistent and pervasive function is a joy-killer, a regular grinch and scourge on fun and childhood.

Boston’s CBS affiliate has more:

State lawmakers are considering a bill to ban the sale and use of all balloons in Massachusetts.

“The sale, distribution and release of any type of balloon, including, but not limited to, plastic, latex or mylar, filled with any type of lighter than air gas, both for public or private use, is hereby prohibited,” the bill sponsored by Rep. Sarah Peake, D-Provincetown, states. Violators would be fined up to $100.

A hearing was held on the proposal Tuesday.

According to, supporters of the bill say balloons can be deadly for animals and bad for the environment. But opponents said the proposed measure would hurt businesses.

Earlier this year, the town of Orleans debated a balloon ban. Chatham, Nantucket and Block Island have already enacted balloon bans.

Government, basically:


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When Warren (MA) wins the nomination hopefully the DNC will drop bricks from the ceiling of the convention center.

guess no hot air balloon rides in MA

    4fun in reply to ronk. | October 16, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    Sure there will be, you just need to attend a legislative meeting. Plenty of hot air rides when they’re “legislating”.

Keep those laws coming MA.
Just another product our New Hampshire state line stores will start stocking, along with the beer and soft drinks that have the MA and other surrounding states nickel deposit.

American Human | October 16, 2019 at 3:50 pm

it refers to balloons that are filled with any lighter-than-air gas. I expect that does not include air. Unless they would capture the balloon, extract the air within, and analyze it in a lab to see if there is any particular gas within that is lighter than air? How are they going to enforce this? Perhaps it should include Elizabeth Warren too since she is filled with hot air.

    daniel_ream in reply to American Human. | October 16, 2019 at 4:58 pm

    There is, as it turns out, a staggeringly easy way to determine whether any given balloon is filled with a lighter than air gas.

      Daniel, just wait and you’ll discover that government can turn “staggeringly easy” into a multi-year (un)scientific endeavor costing millions of dollars.

      And still get it wrong.

    As nitrogen is slightly lighter than oxygen, a balloon filled with pure nitrogen would be illegal under this law.

Save the birds. Save the bats. Save the creep, crawly things. Here, in China, and other areas where green lawns, blue skies, and conservation die in darkness.

That said, ban the helium, the balloons, too. Decarbonize the economy, sequester the carbon-based baby… fetus. Dumb and wicked. A logical progression.

Is there a helium substitute waiting to debut? This is the ozone hole debacle, endangered polar bear assertion, straws in oceans, planned population schemes, recycled, recycled, then recycled again.

    gibbie in reply to n.n. | October 16, 2019 at 4:20 pm

    This is what happens when a nation becomes prosperous. We strain at balloons and swallow 60M abortions.

    Judgement is coming. Trump is the “nice” King Nebuchadnezzar. If he fails then the next one won’t be so nice.

    alaskabob in reply to n.n. | October 16, 2019 at 4:22 pm

    Hydrogen works better! Of course there was that Hindenburg thingy but no carbon emissions!

    Arminius in reply to n.n. | October 16, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    Actually if you were at all interested in saving the birds and the bats, and oddly enough I am, the last thing you’d do is advocate for wind and solar considering how you’d have to put wind turbines and solar panels over vast areas of land to replace a fraction of the energy production by banning hydrocarbon usage.

    “… So for example, it’s estimated that the wind farm at Altamont Pass in California not far from my home has killed 2,900 golden eagles in the quarter-century since it was built … and that’s just golden eagles. And estimates are that 600,000 bats are killed annually in the US alone.”

    As the author goes on to explain, these estimates are no doubt woefully low. In addition to freeing wind and solar power companies from all environmental laws regarding killing protected and endangered bat and bird species (if you or I killed one golden eagle let alone 2900 or, shudder, a bald eagle we’d probably be in prison) these companies are allowed to keep what is closer to the actual number to themselves as a “trade secret.” The bottom line is the feds as well as these companies don’t want word getting around that wind a solar energy production is an environmental disaster and not just in terms of bird/bat mortality. Worse even than sticking with nuclear, oil, natural gas, or even coal.

    “However, there’s a huge difference with wind turbines, and I say that the difference, curiously, is bugs. Here is my theory as to why wind turbines kill so many bats and birds big and small, many more than anyone expected.

    Wind turbines are surprisingly lethal because they kill bugs.

    And not just a few bugs. Based on observations and model calculations, German researchers calculated that each wind turbine kills on the order of 12,000 insects per day, which is some 12,000 tonnes of dead insects per year in Germany alone. And for each bug that is killed, perhaps ten bugs are injured or dazed. Plus I suspect their calculations are too low.

    First, a bit of background. Most folks don’t realize that the tips of those big slow-turning wind turbine blades are typically moving at 175 miles per hour (280 km/hr, an average of 21 different models), with some going as fast as 230 miles per hour (370 km/hr). YIKES! There’s no way to dodge something moving that fast.

    It gets worse. At that speed, the blade tip doesn’t even have to hit an insect, bird, or bat to kill it or daze it. There is a large overpressure of air directly in front of the leading edge of the blade. And there is a near-vacuum on the back side of the blade. Just going suddenly from the high overpressure to near-vacuum can cause a variety of injuries, including bursting the lungs of bats and birds.

    So let’s follow the story, starting with the bugs. The turbine is acting like a giant bug-mincer. It is smashing bugs on the leading edges of the blades, just like the smashed bugs you get when you drive down the highway. It is injuring bugs through both turbulence and pressure changes. And it is constantly and invisibly spinning hundreds of both dead and wounded bugs, and lots of smelly bug-juice from the smashed insects, up into the sky.”

    To cut to the chase, the scent of dead and injured insects attract bats and smaller insectivorous birds. Which in turn attracts larger increasingly larger predators that eat the smaller dying or dead birds and bats. Until finally the raptors at the top of the avian food chain arrive, only to be killed in turn.

    Solar isn’t much better in terms of bird kills.

    “This Mojave Desert solar plant kills 6,000 birds a year. Here’s why that won’t change any time soon

    By Louis Sahagun

    Sep. 2, 2016 3 AM

    Reporting from NIPTON, Calif. — A macabre fireworks show unfolds each day along I-15 west of Las Vegas, as birds fly into concentrated beams of sunlight and are instantly incinerated, leaving wisps of white smoke against the blue desert sky.

    Workers at the Ivanpah Solar Plant have a name for the spectacle: ‘Streamers.’

    … In addition, coyotes eat dozens of roadrunners trapped along the outside of a perimeter fence that was designed to prevent federally threatened desert tortoises from wandering onto the property.”

    All Wile E. Coyote needed was a helping hand from the “squad.” Who knew?

we’re not yet that bad up here but getting there.
although in this town (southern part of state) its even air filled balloons that can get you in trouble.

“What did you find on the traffic stop, officer?”

“Three kilos of coke, a bale of marijuana, and fifty vials of crack.”

“Ok, doesn’t look like anything we can hold him on– Wait a minute. Is that a *balloon* in the back seat? And a package of straws? Call the K9 unit and strip the car. I’m taking this clown into the station for booking.”

Massachusetts just banned weather balloons. They did it for science!

Ever wonder where small latex helium balloons go to die? At least those spawned in LA? Many finally find a resting place in eastern Death Valley/Greenwater Valley road area. I’ve seen the remains of them while searching for certain rocks. It doesn’t take long for them to shrivel up into super-tiny colorful raisins (maybe 15% of the size of an ordinary raisin) and then turn to powder and get absorbed by the sandy soil – that’s how latex breaks down in heat and sunlight. Also found a weather balloon with it’s electronic package intact.

Tar. Feathers. Some assembly required.

I live in Massachusetts. Our highways are of third world quality (dirty beyond description), the Merrimack River, the largest in the state, is overflowing with raw sewerage. The Registry of Motor Vehicles ignored out of state suspension notices for years. But fear not, the Mass Legislature is working on balloon bans. We are a one party state with a RINO Governor. Morons all.

So water balloons are ok? If not, will they also ban condoms?

    Oversoul Of Dusk in reply to jolanthe. | October 16, 2019 at 6:13 pm

    “Will they also ban condoms?”

    Only if the contents are lighter than air. So a few of this year’s democratic presidential candidates might not pass the background check.

All balloons need to be banned. Here’s a hypothetical which could come to pass. Suppose some white supremacist had a balloon and, rather than filling it with air, they filled it with U238. They could cause a chain reaction by throwing the balloon at someone and dozens of people could be injured or killed. Why take the chance — ban balloons now!

If you drive a helium balloon home, let it roam free in the car and notice that it moves to the windshield when you accelerate and to the back window when you brake.

Ban surgical gloves!

Since politicians are primarily hot air, can we ban them in Massachusetts?

Gives me the urge to get a bunch of balloons and a tank of helium, set up shop just across the NH border and wait for a nice northerly breeze.

    ronk in reply to txvet2. | October 16, 2019 at 7:41 pm

    I was thinking NY border, where you can see the sign that tells you MA does not recognize Concealed Carry permits from other states, but then again NY probably has a similar law, could be interesting since the states don’t have control of air space.

      txvet2 in reply to ronk. | October 16, 2019 at 8:17 pm

      I though of NY, RI and Conn, but they’re all just as blue as Mass, so they’d probably think up some way of making it illegal. Now if you had a boat, you could use the easterlies by parking just offshore.

      GWB in reply to ronk. | October 17, 2019 at 8:11 am

      Would it be illegal to tie small handguns to the balloons…?

Why does Massachusetts hate children?

Old and busted: The Independent (UK) 20 March 2000: “Snowfalls are now just a thing of the past

… However, the warming is so far manifesting itself more in winters which are less cold than in much hotter summers. According to Dr David Viner, a senior research scientist at the climatic research unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia,within a few years winter snowfall will become ‘a very rare and exciting event’.

‘Children just aren’t going to know what snow is,’ he said.”

New and hot: Boston Globe, 16 Oct 2019: “Balloons are now just a thing of the past

‘The had data just doesn’t support the idea that we are in anything close to a climate emergency’ said Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker, ‘in fact life on earth has never been better.’ Baker observed that if there were a climate emergency anywhere on earth, it would be in the Arctic. Yet the Polar Bear, Al Gore’s mascot for AGW disaster, are in fact booming in terms of population. From a best-estimate low of 10,000 in the 1960s, the current best estimate is 39,000 (range 26,000 to 58,000). This is due to the fact that the Polar Bear’s favorite prey animal populations; Walrus, Ringed Seal, Bearded Seal, and to a lesser extent Harp Seals, are also booming. ‘Sure, to some extent there is less sea ice in some years than in decades past,’ Baker said, ‘But Polar Bears have been around for hundreds thousands of years, their prey animals for even longer. They’ve survived periods of even less ice coverage than now. In fact, more ice is not necessarily good news for these animals. During the Wisconsin glaciation the ice was too thick, pushing the animals out to the fringes of the pack ice and actual usable habitat was smaller than it is now.’ As Baker went on to sadly observe, since there is no climate emergency in the Arctic there is none anywhere. Since the dawn of color satellite imagery the earth has never been greener. This means that wildland habitat has never been better, and we are experiencing record crop yields because, he whispered conspiratorially, “CO2 isn’t a pollutant but plant food.”

And globally climate and weather related deaths are down 90% since 1920 with more than 55% of the decline occurring since the 1970s, now counting for just .07% of human mortality globally.

‘F***, this is bad news for us socialists. We were hoping to use the data to fearmonger our way to absolute power,’ Baker admitted, ‘no matter if it was the coming ice age back in the 1970s or the current AGW hoax we leftist have been promising climate catastrophe for the past fifty years and the solution has always been the same. Confiscatory taxes grinding the progs into abject poverty and we in the ruling class would be in charge of a totalitarian, centrally planned, and unaccountable government. But the G*dd*mmed climate just isn’t cooperating.”

‘Then we hit upon an idea; we’ll just lie to the children’ Baker said, ‘and lobby for sixteen year old kids to vote. Grata Thunberg is one of our greatest success stories which is why we terrorized the child from Sweden with Asperger’s syndrome to the point where she went for months unable to speak (selective mutism) then exploited her by putting her on a world tour.’

Children with Asperger’s syndrome are very literal, have a high level of anxiety and are very rigid in their thought patterns. Caring parents can work with their children to reduce their anxiety and to teach them to be less rigid in thought. ‘But what the hell; we climatistas don’t give a s**t about her,’ Baker added. So the climate alarmists decided to stoke her irrational fears and increase her tendency to think rigidly. High functioning autistic kids latch onto the first “fact” they are presented with, even if that “fact” is a lie, and once they establish in their own minds “the rules” they will not depart with them. So any facts that run counter to the “facts” they have been indoctrinated to believe they’ll reject, and their established mental “rules” make it almost impossible for them to change their minds about anything.

“Did you see that kid at the UN?” Baker asked. “She is well and truly terrified. And we’re not done terrorizing children. Soon the discussion will shift from not having children to killing the children that parents do have.”

‘Yeah,’ Baker added, ‘somebody stole her childhood. But between you and me it wasn’t oil and gas industry execs, if you know what I mean, heh heh heh,” Baker laughed diabolically.

‘Children just aren’t going to know what balloons are’ he said”

To a committed Leftist, control, no matter how small of a nit being picked is good. They want to control everything, all the time. The Social Justice Warriors know how to live your life better than you.

The need to ban drive-in balloon stores has now become an absolute necessity to save the planet.

Proving again that it only takes a prick to burst a balloon.

Glad to see the Massholes in Taxachusetts have their priorities straight. Balloons are evil and dangerous! Look how that balloon exploded in New Jersey in the 1930’s. Huh? That was a Zepplin? It was full of hydrogen, not helium? Well, it floated didn’t it? Anyway, let’s ban balloons. Let children play with hoops and sticks. Those are banned too? No kidding.

To be thorough, they also need to ban balloon-framing and balloon-mortgages.

And people wonder why I answer my doctor’s legally required question of “Do you feel safe at home?” with … “Only when the legislature is not in session”

Massachusetts doesn’t hate children; it just hates people having fun. Children are merely collateral damage in the progressive war against humor, anything light-hearted, and any activity not focused upon the impending end of the world from climate change, racism, and/or the patriarchy. Perhaps it is the now-supposedly-discarded Puritan heritage come back after all. They banned things like celebrating Christmas, and now their successors are trying to do the same thing.