Leftist Feminists vow to create Angry Girls, and that’s a mistake
Anger is not a happy emotion, and angry behavior can be self-defeating. I’m teaching my kids to calmly stand their ground.
I’m old enough to remember when Brett Kavanaugh was not qualified to serve on the Supreme Court because he was visibly angry about being accused of sexual assault.
Now I read feminist author Kate Rope advising parents to encourage their daughters to get angry and show it:
As parents, we often seek to mollify, quell — even extinguish — our children’s anger. Life is busy, we’re moving fast. Anger slows us down. It stresses us out. But the disruptive quality of anger is exactly what makes it a powerful agent for social change, says Rebecca Traister in her new book, “Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger.” Hers is one of two books out this fall that explore the intersection of gender and rage. I went to hear Traister speak at my local library and left wondering if my desire for peace in my home was eroding my daughters’ potential to create peace in the world.
The other book, “Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger” by Soraya Chemaly, looks at the extensive research on our gendered relationship with anger. There is little difference in how boys and girls experience and express emotions, says Chemaly, but there is substantial difference in how we respond. Girls are rewarded for being pleasant, agreeable and helpful. By preschool, children believe it is normal for boys to be angry, but not girls.
I am by no means an expert in the field of psychology and childhood development (and neither are Traister or Chemaly; both are just feminist writers). One doesn’t need to be a psychologist, however, to find obvious problems with the paragraphs above.
First of all, I’m not sure how we can definitively compare something as subjective as experiencing emotions in boys and girls. We can’t get, Being John Malkovich-style, into the minds of members of the opposite sex to check out how they feel to compare it to our own emotions. All we can do is collect the data on certain function of the brain and on how emotions are expressed. Whether the data reflects our feelings properly is another question.
What we do know, and what’s even considered common sense, is that boys have a much more difficult time with what experts call emotional self-regulation. That difficulty is not something that our society encourages, either. In fact, we vehemently discourage it: boys get disciplined more often, boys more frequently get diagnosed with behavioral and developmental conditions, most notoriously ADHD, boys get medicated, teen boys get arrested more than girls. I want to see Rope and Chemaly go tell the parents of special needs boys that they’d taught their kids DSM-grade behaviors through subtle differences in reinforcement before pre-school.
Of course, special kids are merely notable exceptions, and if we disregard the data that comes from this minority population and compare typically developing boys to typically developing girls, we may find that they are equally well-adjusted when it comes to coping skills.
The problems occur because contemporary feminism really wants women to grow up being exceptional, to take over as leaders and creators. “The future is female”, they promise—which, of course, can be arranged with a proper handicapping mechanism for males. Yet quite a few of the exceptional men, the kind we read about in history books, Peter the Great, Lord Byron, Steve Jobs—I can go on forever—had a significant dark side.
None of it means that only deviant people can be highly successful or that women can’t independently raise to top level leadership. Look, for instance, at Margaret Thatcher, an exceedingly normal, hugely successful self-made female leader. What I think is happening, however, is that feminists look at angry men who did very well, and attribute their achievement to anger, when, in fact, it’s probably something that went along with their bad temper that’s responsible for their success.
Of course, women can be quite angry too, and it can serve them well. For instance, Linda Sarsour, the co-chair of Women’s March and, arguably, the single most celebrated political activist in America today, is often described as fierce. Sarsour’s girlfriends Tamika Mallory and Carmen Perez are made of the same cloth, apparently. Tablet reports:
At the end of January, according to multiple sources, there was an official debriefing at Mallory’s apartment. In attendance were Mallory, Evvie Harmon, Breanne Butler, Vanessa Wruble, Cassady Fendlay, Carmen Perez and Linda Sarsour. They should have been basking in the afterglow of their massive success, but—according to Harmon—the air was thick with conflict. “We sat in that room for hours,” Harmon told Tablet recently. “Tamika told us that the problem was that there were five white women in the room and only three women of color, and that she didn’t trust white women. Especially white women from the South. At that point, I kind of tuned out because I was so used to hearing this type of talk from Tamika. But then I noticed the energy in the room changed. I suddenly realized that Tamika and Carmen were facing Vanessa, who was sitting on a couch, and berating her—but it wasn’t about her being white. It was about her being Jewish. ‘Your people this, your people that.’ I was raised in the South and the language that was used is language that I’m very used to hearing in rural South Carolina. Just instead of against black people, against Jewish people. They even said to her ‘your people hold all the wealth.’ You could hear a pin drop. It was awful.”
Perfectly angry, just as #MeToo-era women are supposed to be. And to think that their collaborators have put up with that for years instead of going public, and that they would probably never go public had Tablet not reached out to them. Were they intimidated by the fierceness of their leaders?
There is a tension today between the schools of thought that teach that gender identity is inborn and immutable and the one that tells us that it’s socially constructed. The second school of thought promotes idea that girls need strong role models and tons of positive reinforcements to mature into powerful women. Princesses are out.
Instead we have the pictures of, well, the foursome of the Women’s March leaders on the red carpet during a major media event, dressed in ball gowns, smiling, and for some reason clenching their fists. FUTURE LEADER t-shirts for girls. NASTY WOMAN t-shirts for moms. Pussy hats. Girlpower comic books that bare only superficial resemblance to middle school misery. Films about powerful female tyrants of the past. Girls are growing up under a lot of pressure to show “leadership,” and they oblige, usually in an artificially created environment.
Anger figures prominently in this powerful woman social construct. There are many things people should be angry about. Rape, for instance, or even the subversion of the Women’s March. Yet it’s one thing to be mad at the rapist, and quite another to lash out at your husband because some other man is a rapist. In an effort to form a cohesive female voting block, political activists try to get women to be angry not at the specific perpetrators of abuse, but at the “patriarchy.”
One thing to bear in mind is that there are a lot of people out there who want, to borrow Saul Alinsky’s turn of phrase, to “rub raw the sores of discontent, galvanize […] for radical social change.”
In a very excellent Quillette article this week, Connor Barnes talked about being an angry radical in a company of other angry radicals and of the sadists who manipulate them. Anger opens people up to abuse. Is that what we want for our girls?
All I know is that I want to raise well-adjusted and well-rounded kids. Anger is not a happy emotion, and angry behavior can be self-defeating. I’m teaching my kids to calmly stand their ground.
[Featured Image via Rebel Pundit Video]
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Comments
What if the soon-to-be-angry girl/woman happens to be Black?
Can anyone else see a problem there?
Am I the only person who thinks waking up in the morning with the angry lady pictured might be enough to cause someone kill themselves?
What I taught my children and grandchildren is that while their parents (or grandparents) might occasionally care if they are mad, the rest of the world will not.
It is really funny when a child stomps their feet, says they are mad, and then flops down on the floor to kick their feet, and I would tell them to bang their head against the floor. My now over thirty daughter with all boys at five years old said, but daddy, that would hurt, and that was the end of that tantrum.
Now I read feminist author Kate Rope advising parents to encourage their daughters to get angry and show it
Sounds like a formula for a new generation of crazy old cat ladies.
Anger (a strong feeling of displeasure or annoyance) is necessarily neither bad nor undesirable. If a person is angry, there is a question of whether the emotion is justified. That an individual may believe his anger is justified may or may not be affirmed by a society. For example, a person who gets angry about being assaulted would be thought to be justified and there might be some question about their humanity is he didn’t. However, a person getting angry because a store has run ought of his favorite ice cream would be thought of over-reacting. This raises a question of how a person responds to his anger.
Can the person articulate his anger and what it concerns. In other words, can he remain focused. Or, does he “go off the deep end,” often referred to rage (uncontrolled anger). So, at least to me, the question is one of not “stuffing” one’s anger. Rather, is the anger justified and if the individual’s response appropriate to the situation. When it, anger, becomes generalized and unfocused is when there are often irrational words and deeds that result.
I think a whole lot of people would have been spared considerable pain and grief has they learned not to deny their anger and to respond to it in appropriate ways.
Behind any significant point of anger lies fear.
You raise a good point, one which gives me pause to think I might have jumbled my analysis. Fear is the impetus for a flight/fight response, if I recall correctly.
“Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.” — Dr. Jordan Peterson
This lady needs to listen to the good doctor…
also “Do not let your children do anything that makes the general public hate them.” — LisaGinNZ
Men and women are equal in rights and complementary in Nature.
No diversity, or color judgments. #HateLovesAbortion
I’ve heard Andrew Klavan say, “Anger is the devil’s cocaine.” By that he means anger can make you feel righteous, and it’s very addicting, but it’s not the same thing as righteousness.
It can quickly devolve into resentment and rage, and in the end you simply look ridiculous.
Experience? Why no. I’ve no experience at all in that regard.
P.S.: Mrs. Sedgwick is the second blogger I’ve read lately to reference a ‘Quillette article.’ Note to self…
I didn’t realize that people these days needed to be encouraged to get angry.
[Sidenote: what happened to the Forum?]
“…expert in the field of psychology”
There are no experts in the field of psychology, even among pyschologists, because it’s not a real science.
I accidentally up-voted you.
Of course there are branches of psychology that are very scientific. We owe a lot to them.
+ 10,000
Who is Jordan Peterson, and why does anyone value his thinking?
We recall Andrew Branca saying that exact thing about you:
Andrew Branca | June 28, 2018 at 1:04 am
Who are you, and why should I care what you think about anything?
–Andrew
https://legalinsurrection.com/2018/06/law-of-self-defense-murder-re-trial-for-man-who-confronted-public-urination/
Jordan Peterson craps bigger than you.
My point, you idiot, is that Peterson IS a profoundly scientific scholar who IS a psychologist.
That’s why people find him worth giving a listen.
I can create an angry girl by telling her to dress in white and get back in the kitchen with the rest of the appliances.
That’s a rather odd comment coming from someone who just defended psychology.
Sorry, that was supposed to be directed at Rags.
These women are trolling for useful idiots, and they will probably find some, while the rest of us point at their silly ideas and laugh. This is not Palestine, and the Palestinian model is irrelevant.
Islamists like rage, because it gives them other people to be cannon fodder. We care more about each other than that.
These doofi pretend that intense anger and rage are useful, when in fact they are overwhelming emotions taken to the point that they interfere with effective action. One of the key lessons loving parents have to teach their children (and, learn themselves) is to recognize and deal properly with situations that lead to anger and rage.
I have a temper, and when I had my first baby, I had to learn how to keep it in check. I found out that the first little trickle of irritation needed to be dealt with now, while it was small and manageable.
This lesson has been applied in many areas of my life, and (sigh!) re-learned more than once. Dealing with problems when they are minor saves headaches, ulcers, and tears. It allows a person to arrange for a more comfortable, happier life. It husbands one’s energy for better things.
But these fools think they can sow the wind, without reaping the whirlwind. The Palestinians have already tried this, and I don’t think it is working for them.
Islamist-style rage is inappropriate in our culture, because we have our revolutions every two years, when we vote. In addition, we all know how to reach out and touch our Senators and Congressmen. When we say “heads will roll,” we are talking about people getting fired. When we talking about “targeting a candidate,” we are talking about advertising. This is a world away from the murderous background of a Linda Sarsour.
if 2 feminists go on a picnic, who makes the sandwiches??
Why Western Women are Unhappy: Jordan Peterson:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2ca6qNF5yE
Q: What’s the difference between an Angry Feminist and an Islamic terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Feminine Nazism is alive and well. It’s time to handle this outbreak like we handled the last one.
When I was young, one lesson always pounded into you was that you never hit the girl – but these hags would make it mighty tempting.
I always felt that if they wanted to be treated equally, it went all the way. Get in my face, and I will treat you just like any man, act as a lady, and be treated as such.
And without exception, every angry feminist kook is a DOG. I’d be angry too.
Is it really necessary to point out that men and boys are socialized to control their anger as most people are simply more afraid of what an out-of-control man might do?
Perhaps it’s somehow not fair that an out-of-control, raving-mad woman is just not taken as a serious threat (unless she’s armed, of course) yet it seems absurd to claim that men are somehow given more license to express anger than women are, when the everyday reality is exactly the opposite.
I suppose if one of these women were to say “We’re going to express our anger all over you just because we can, because female privilege” they’d sound less righteous, but, they’d be closer to the truth.
these angry feminists can go right on expressing themselves and i still won’t listen, let alone care
Anger worked out well for that red headed Mizzou assistant journalism prof Melissa Click.
Leftist feminists are going to create Angry Girls? And how exactly will they be different from before?