When it comes to smearing things as sexist in the name of social justice, it is now clear that nothing will be spared. Even the exploration of space is apparently part of the effort to keep women down.

Marcie Bianco works at Stanford University as the Communications Manager of the Clayman Institute for Gender Research. She writes at NBC News:

The patriarchal race to colonize Mars is just another example of male entitlement

What does a midlife crisis look like in the 21st century?

Frittering away your life savings on a red sports car is so last century. Instead, today’s man who is grappling with the limitations of his mortality spends $90 million on a rocket to launch a $100,000 electric car, helmed by a robot by the name of “Starman,” into space.

“We want a new space race,” SpaceX founder Elon Musk said in a press conference shortly after the launch of his company’s Falcon Heavy rocket — and his Tesla Roadster — into space earlier in February. Like a child, he gleefully continued, “Space races are exciting.”

And Musk isn’t the only billionaire looking to enter the space race. Amazon’s Jeff Bezos has his private aerospace company, Blue Origin, while Virgin’s Richard Branson, a prominent adventurer, created Virgin Galactic back in 2004.

These men, particularly Musk, are not only heavily invested in who can get their rocket into space first, but in colonizing Mars. The desire to colonize — to have unquestioned, unchallenged and automatic access to something, to any type of body, and to use it at will — is a patriarchal one. Indeed, there is no ethical consideration among these billionaires about whether this should be done; rather, the conversation is when it will be done. Because, in the eyes of these intrepid explorers, this is the only way to save humanity.

It is the same instinctual and cultural force that teaches men that everything — and everyone — in their line of vision is theirs for the taking.

I wish I could tell you this is parody, but it isn’t. Bianco continues:

The Friday before SpaceX’s launch, legendary astronaut Buzz Aldrin reiterated to me over lunch that it is imperative that we talk about space exploration in terms of “migration,” rather than using words like “colonize” or “settle” when talking about going to Mars.

Through a feminist lens, Aldrin’s deliberate word choice revealed an important reality of the space race: This 21st century form of imperialism is the direct result of men giving up on the planet they have all but destroyed.

It’s probably a safe bet that the first manned mission to Mars will be met with demands from Ms. Bianco and company that the crew be sufficiently staffed with queer, transgender feminist activists who use pronouns like zey, qualifications be damned.

We should oblige. Imagine how enthusiastic the public would be over a plan to blast feminists into space.

A quick look at Bianco’s Twitter account reveals few surprises:

We’re not freaking out, Marcie. We’re laughing.

Featured image via YouTube.