I genuinely feel for the single crowd out there trying to date through the #MeToo madness. Because is a date with someone who may misinterpret your flirtatiousness as rape culture worth potentially tanking your career and reputation?
This brave new world where day after regret is conflated with sexual misconduct, rape, and harassment, singles are increasingly confused about where the line of acceptable behavior begins. And with good reason.
The Washington Post has a horrifying glimpse into singlehood, dating, and how the #MeToo culture has ruined everything:
Over the summer, Geoffrey Knight is in bed with a woman he is dating. He puts his hand on her breast, and she swats it away. “You need to ask before you touch me,” he recalls her saying. Knight apologizes, saying he had assumed it was okay because they had just had sex.
“You should never make that assumption,” she retorts.
“Sure, we can have sex, but don’t you dare touch me without my consent.”
So, dude adjusts his tactics, only to annoy another gal who wishes he’d just get on with it:
Flash-forward a few months, and Knight, a 25-year-old Washingtonian, is sleeping with someone new. He is asking “Can I touch you here?” “Can I do this?” every step of the way, and his partner wants to know what is with all the questions. She prefers a more proactive approach.
But Knight is so prepared! He even attempted penance for his original sin — being born with an X chromosome in a culture full of self-entitled, spoiled, selfish women. Even his Rejecting Toxic Masculunity Class isn’t enough to clarify the dating road ahead:
Knight is well-prepared to date in the #MeToo era. He has completed a two-month discussion class on how to reject toxic masculinity. He still has his “Consent is sexy” T-shirt from freshman year of college. He has thought about how men have the power in courtship, and with that, the ability to abuse it. So when he meets a woman while out at a bar, rather than ask for her number and potentially make her feel pressured to give it, he will give her his number and wait for her to text.
Yet he is still thoroughly confused. “It’s tough for me to know where the line is,” Knight says, “because it changes from woman to woman.”
This is what it is like to date in 2018. Plenty of heterosexual men are confused about how to make a first move in a way that is confident and mindful of a woman’s boundaries. Even the guys like Knight who are pretty sure they are not harassers are walking on eggshells.
“…who are pretty sure they are not harassers.” That right there. That’s the problem.
As I’ve discussed extensively, #MeToo began as a force for good and then like everything else new wave feminism touches, became a tool with which to berate and further emasculate men, giving a false impression that every man is a would-be harasser and aggressor if the circumstances allow.
Naturally, the WaPo reached the completely wrong conclusion, suggesting men deserve this period of confusion because the patriarchy was mean:
So what if men are scared and confused? For ages, sex has held heavier consequences for women. Perhaps we are just getting closer to gender parity, to a place where women’s desires in sex matter as much as men’s. “Nothing is going to change with men until we hold them to a higher standard,” says Jaclyn Friedman, a sex educator and author of “Unscrewed: Women, Sex, Power and How to Stop Letting the System Screw Us All.”
Getting there can be a little rocky. “I think they’re overreacting,” Hogi says of men who will not make a first move. “It’s not that we don’t ever want a man to kiss us or find us attractive. We just want to make sure he’s being respectful of our feelings and not being presumptuous.” Edwards adds that if a man’s intentions are pure, they should proceed as normal.
But that’s the point of new wave feminism and by extension, #MeToo (now, anyway) — punish men and make them pay. New wave feminism is now a reparations movement, a far cry from its origins in the pursuit of equality.
Women are not empowered when men have no clue how to be men. Neither do women benefit from an entire world that revolves around their fickle wants. Getting what you want when you want in precise fashion is not an endeavor for mature adults, it’s what dollers scream about.
It’s truly sweet that men are willing to try the #MeToo experiment in order to please the ladyfolk, but it won’t work, as Knight is finding out. Lack of agreed upon, defined roles leads to relational chaos every single time.DONATE
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