#MeToo is ruining the dating scene
This brave new world where day after regret is conflated with sexual misconduct, rape, and harassment, singles are increasingly confused about where the line of acceptable behavior begins.
I genuinely feel for the single crowd out there trying to date through the #MeToo madness. Because is a date with someone who may misinterpret your flirtatiousness as rape culture worth potentially tanking your career and reputation?
This brave new world where day after regret is conflated with sexual misconduct, rape, and harassment, singles are increasingly confused about where the line of acceptable behavior begins. And with good reason.
The Washington Post has a horrifying glimpse into singlehood, dating, and how the #MeToo culture has ruined everything:
Over the summer, Geoffrey Knight is in bed with a woman he is dating. He puts his hand on her breast, and she swats it away. “You need to ask before you touch me,” he recalls her saying. Knight apologizes, saying he had assumed it was okay because they had just had sex.
“You should never make that assumption,” she retorts.
“Sure, we can have sex, but don’t you dare touch me without my consent.”
So, dude adjusts his tactics, only to annoy another gal who wishes he’d just get on with it:
Flash-forward a few months, and Knight, a 25-year-old Washingtonian, is sleeping with someone new. He is asking “Can I touch you here?” “Can I do this?” every step of the way, and his partner wants to know what is with all the questions. She prefers a more proactive approach.
But Knight is so prepared! He even attempted penance for his original sin — being born with an X chromosome in a culture full of self-entitled, spoiled, selfish women. Even his Rejecting Toxic Masculunity Class isn’t enough to clarify the dating road ahead:
Knight is well-prepared to date in the #MeToo era. He has completed a two-month discussion class on how to reject toxic masculinity. He still has his “Consent is sexy” T-shirt from freshman year of college. He has thought about how men have the power in courtship, and with that, the ability to abuse it. So when he meets a woman while out at a bar, rather than ask for her number and potentially make her feel pressured to give it, he will give her his number and wait for her to text.
Yet he is still thoroughly confused. “It’s tough for me to know where the line is,” Knight says, “because it changes from woman to woman.”
This is what it is like to date in 2018. Plenty of heterosexual men are confused about how to make a first move in a way that is confident and mindful of a woman’s boundaries. Even the guys like Knight who are pretty sure they are not harassers are walking on eggshells.
“…who are pretty sure they are not harassers.” That right there. That’s the problem.
As I’ve discussed extensively, #MeToo began as a force for good and then like everything else new wave feminism touches, became a tool with which to berate and further emasculate men, giving a false impression that every man is a would-be harasser and aggressor if the circumstances allow.
Naturally, the WaPo reached the completely wrong conclusion, suggesting men deserve this period of confusion because the patriarchy was mean:
So what if men are scared and confused? For ages, sex has held heavier consequences for women. Perhaps we are just getting closer to gender parity, to a place where women’s desires in sex matter as much as men’s. “Nothing is going to change with men until we hold them to a higher standard,” says Jaclyn Friedman, a sex educator and author of “Unscrewed: Women, Sex, Power and How to Stop Letting the System Screw Us All.”
Getting there can be a little rocky. “I think they’re overreacting,” Hogi says of men who will not make a first move. “It’s not that we don’t ever want a man to kiss us or find us attractive. We just want to make sure he’s being respectful of our feelings and not being presumptuous.” Edwards adds that if a man’s intentions are pure, they should proceed as normal.
But that’s the point of new wave feminism and by extension, #MeToo (now, anyway) — punish men and make them pay. New wave feminism is now a reparations movement, a far cry from its origins in the pursuit of equality.
Women are not empowered when men have no clue how to be men. Neither do women benefit from an entire world that revolves around their fickle wants. Getting what you want when you want in precise fashion is not an endeavor for mature adults, it’s what dollers scream about.
It’s truly sweet that men are willing to try the #MeToo experiment in order to please the ladyfolk, but it won’t work, as Knight is finding out. Lack of agreed upon, defined roles leads to relational chaos every single time.
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Comments
lucky me!
i’m married, so i don’t have to worry about sex or getting consent.
i already know the answer is “No.”
V-A-G-I-N-A. P-E-N-I-S
Men and women are equal in rights and complementary in Nature.
W-A-R-L-O-C-K hunts. W-A-R-L-O-C-K trials. L-Y-N-C-H-I-N-G.
E-V-O-L-U-T-I-O-N from conception to a natural or elective death.
B-A-B-Y
Individual dignity. Intrinsic value. Go forth and reconcile.
Legalize prostitution, everywhere, according community standards. Go with a pro and avoid the mental defectives.
this is what happens with the end of biblical values.
the loss of 2 parent (mother + father) families.
the concept of no conception + baby part sales as normal leftist teachings.
we are back to the future of 100 years ago.
will Trump help, hurt or have no impact on this ?
who knows – but this society will disappear if it doesn’t fix itself.
Both sides are under God’s judgment. The price we’re paying for normalizing fornication, rejecting our Creator’s standards and recipe for our happiness.
For young women, who desire to criminalize flirting, it will not end well for them. Too many men will realize they are reaching the point of diminished returns and will stop trying. For whatever reason, accusing someone of assault/harassment sometimes decades after an encounter will chill any potential relationship. Getting hit on at last call by some tipsy man, however not desired, is NOT assault.
The tipping point has already been reached. There is an online movement called MGTOW and the number of YouTube channels is expanding.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRBhHbPmZV0
Gonna be a lot of Lonely Old Cat Ladies in the future.
Of course people have trouble figuring out the rules. There are no rules except that they will use whatever they can against you.
It’s summed up in the book title mentioned: “Unscrewed: Women, Sex, Power …”
They think it’s about power. Not love. Not respect. Not intimacy. Just brute power.
1) Never, ever, ever have any personal or even just friendly relationship with any woman who you know through work or any professional relationship; whether on or off duty. There is no good outcome possible because the woman can make accusations that will be believed at whim at any time in the future. The involvement of the workplace adds a whole extra persecutorial factor and will ruin your professional career, whether true or false.
2) If you are a college student, personal or even just friendly relationship with any woman who you know through school. Since you just know them through the school, you do not know the level of man-hating crazy present, or when/if the college environment will encourage her to make false accusations in order to self-validate her view of herself as a “woke” feminist. Do not be rude, but do not get involved with them. They can also ruin your life, career, and reputation falsely with no chance for you to defend yourself and with no sanction if they are caught or admit to lying.
3) If you are in college, your search for female companionship should be restricted to non-college students as they are less likely to be indoctrinated to hate men. Note I say “less likely”. There are no guarantees.
4) There is a reason that old truisms are old truisms. Women you meet through old friends and family, and that you take time to get to know non-sexually [think of it as passage through a minefield] are “less likely” to ruin your life for fun because there are ties to others they may value that could be damaged.
5) In the business world, follow the Pence rule. Never be alone with a woman colleague without witnesses/chaparones/recordings. Do not travel with woman business colleagues. Do not stay at the same hotels on business trips as woman business colleagues, even if it means paying for it yourself. Minimize business social engagements, leaving as soon as possible. Leave the women and their future victims alone and do not be there so that you can be classed as a witness or accessory.
Never “mentor” a woman business colleague. Mentoring requires a level of trust and candor that is not possible in a modern business setting. If you tell her something that is true as part of the process, and she does not like it, she can take revenge on your life and career by lying and will be praised for it.
In any case, modern society insists that women are better and more valuable than men in everything. They can do it all, better. So let them. If they screw it up, stay as far away as possible so you don’t get blamed. But let them pay the consequences. Neither your company, nor your “woke” colleagues have any loyalty to you. You need not have any to them.
6) They have made the new rules, and the rules are that “men lose”. The only way to not lose is to not play their game the way they want you to.
OOPS. 2) should be NO personal or even just friendly relationship with any woman who you know through school.
It seems to me that you don’t even have to have a relationship to be accused sooooo …
Seems like a remarkably logical and thorough set of rules for men, to avoid what has now become a lifelong risk associated with even a single social encounter. Men who diligently follow these recommendations/rules will certainly minimize their risk of having their life ruined by a vindictive or extortion-minded female in the future.
Incidentally, it will probably also ultimately reduce the birthrate to levels to please even the most rabid environmental activist.
So the ##MeTwo Feminists want to raise the “price” of dating to monopoly price levels and even extract “reparation payments?”
That’s the point at which men comment: “I’m not in the market!”
Interesting Food for Thought This Valentine’s Day:
“Hating Valentine’s
Why Islamists and the radical Left loathe the Day of Love.
“This year, for example, the Islamic Republic of Pakistan has, as always, banned Valentine’s Day for promoting “immorality, nudity and indecency. Pakistan views Valentine’s Day as an “insult” to Islam.
“As always, several cities across Muslim-majority Indonesia are prohibiting people from celebrating Valentine’s Day. Last year, for instance, in the city of Surabaya, a group of school students, which included many girls wearing the hijab, denounced the day. In Aceh province every year, Muslim clerics issue stern warnings to Muslims against observing Valentine’s Day.
In Muslim-dominant Malaysia, while Islamic religious leaders and officials warn people against celebrating Valentine’s, the group The National Muslim Youth Association consistently issues a yearly pre-Valentine’s Day message in which it demonizes the day and specifically directs females not to use emoticons and perfume.”…..
https://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/269295/hating-valentines-jamie-glazov
“So what if men are scared and confused? For ages, sex has held heavier consequences for women.”
For ages, reliable contraception was unavailable. For ages, we have creatures of Order Mammalia. And for ages, females of all mammalian species have nursed their young even after enduring the discomforts of gestation and the risks of childbirth.
So, perhaps you might consider taking up your complaint about those “heavier consequences” with Darwin, or with your Maker?
Further, if “day after regret” may have serious consequences for men, then perhaps the judiciary will find that men have a Constitutional Right (somewhere in the penumbras formed by emanations of the text, perhaps) to be Mirandized (“anything you say or do may later be construed to have been misconduct, even if it did not appear to be such at the time, nor shall there be any limitation on when these accusations may be brought against you …”) prior to any possible physical contact or social interaction. And, should a woman fail to do this (initially and prior to each and every escalation in intimacy) then she must forever hold the man and his behavior harmless. Preferably by holding her peace about the encounter.
Won’t this lead to assigned “marriages” by the totalitarian government? The Dems are dreaming.
Back in the Viet Nam war days, a village was destroyed in order to “save” it. That thinking lives on here.
I do not like what I see as the inevitable violent end point of these cultural ruins brought to us by the left. Cultural destruction will lead to the destruction of civilization. This situation is not good.
Time to re-read George Orwell’s 1984.
One can see prime examples of Groupthink and Newspeak from Yellowstains comments on LI
Forgive me for being sooo old fashioned here. I am, after all 65+ years old and have been around the block a few times.
If society were to adopt the old morals/standards then much of this would go away. Our wedding night was the first time for both of us. In our 42+ years of marriage we have still each only had one partner.
Having sex and making love are not the same thing. We don’t prove our love for each other by having sex, we prove it by a permanent commitment sealed by a three-way covenant between us and God. The act of sex between a husband and a wife is a fulfillment of that commitment. It is a beautiful thing.
My wife is the only woman with whom I’ve had sex. In 65+ years of my life there has never been another. Please tell me what I’ve missed.
On second thought, I will not ask for your (or anyone’s) forgiveness.
There is at least one account of Trump sticking his hand up the dress of a woman sitting at a different table, at a dance club without uttering a word or exchanging a glance. You can argue over whether the account is a lie. But assuming it is true, Trump had no way of knowing whether this particular woman was OK with it even though he is allegedly very rich. She wasn’t. Agreed?
You sound hysterical. Yes I know the origin of the word. Stop whining.
Guess what? It has always been confusing and Yes it does change from woman to woman – and man to man.
Stop whining.
If the guy can’t figure it out, then move on. The alternative is sometimes date rape and most of the time, if he needs force, the guy knows damn well that it is unwelcome. If you are worried about next day remorse, then maybe you should just wait like a good conservative AND STOP WHINING.
Undoubtedly current mores can lead to injustice – same as sex without consent can. So, stop whining
Well, well, well, YellowTroll you’re back and with a pathetic vengeance. Did you get a dyke to build that argument for you or did you make it up all by your little lonesome?
First, there is your little example. Ok, let’s assume that it is true. Why Trump why not a generic man? Why does Trump have to be the person that we are assuming the truth about? Seems kinda fishy to me, or maybe overtly political with no reasoning attached other than to make one man look like an asshole. Which seems to be your whole reasoning in making it.
Second, this man has his hand up this woman’s skirt, do you have any fucking clue what will happen next if she doesn’t want it. I have bounced in bars before and I can tell you clearly what happens next you male feminist twat. Some asshole like me walks over to the man and politely asks him to leave when politely doesn’t work then less politely will. If you think someone like Trump is immune from this you are wrong, the only ones that get immunity from this kind of shit are very very very bad people and if the woman has any kind of experience she will understand that his club is different from others and will make it her habit to never frequent it again.
YellowTroll you are so naive and ignorant of how anything works I really wonder if you ever leave the computer and venture out. My suggestion if you want to better understand things is to go outside and play.
ack
Brilliant, as usual.
Well now, yellow worm.
If we are going for unsubstantiated allegations, I heard you molest goats, chickens, young boys, and small household appliances.
It must be true, because it is on the internet.
“But Knight is so prepared! He even attempted penance for his original sin — being born with an X chromosome in a culture full of self-entitled, spoiled, selfish women.”
The author means Y chromosome, right?
YellowSnake, why do you repeat lies?
Would you like it if people repeated lies about offensive things you’ve done?
“why do you repeat lies?…”
Being unable to think for himself, he has nothing else to repeat except what he reads in his Daily Kos email every morning.
Only one more reason why marriage is so right and proper, and casual sex, cohabitation, living together, divorce, and anything involving multiple partners so wrong. As these females become all the more militant, fewer rational men will have anything to do with them, making it all the less likely that they will be in any position to have offspring. In other words, although you can’t neuter or spay them, if you don’t go where you’re not invited, they won’t procreate. And when they get upset and wonder why nobody wants them, they’ll have to ask themselves.
As I noted above, they will be asking their 18 cats that question.
I doubt they will ever allow themselves to blame …themselves
None of this is accidental. RadFems have longed for sexual chaos since the beginning. It’s the best way to turn citizens on each other.
Russia’s single ladies are waiting for you to write.
Don’t fret, guys: any woman subscribing to this b.s. is doing you a favor keeping you out of their love life: kind of like a “nut filter” on two legs.
A woman you’ll want to be with will be independent of tripe of hysterical and lonely female leftists.
Jordan Peterson – Men Can’t Control Crazy Women:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL3Hrwg3A3w&vl=en
Go have a good time, and don’t forget to thank the women who blow you off.
The same who claim the Women’s Movement is all about equality are the same who eagerly shout, “The future is FEMALE!” at rallies.
Where’s the equality in that?
I love my wife dearly, but even counting her I don’t think there’s a woman alive today who I would risk trying to date if I was again a single man of dating status. The risk of being attacked without being able to prove myself innocent 30 years later is just not worth any potential outcome anymore. I truly feel sorry for today’s generation.
There is one way to prevent being trapped by a false accusation. Record everything. As long as they are informed that you are recording I would believe that the privacy laws are covered and that can be recorded as well. Of course if they flip out about the recording that would be your signal to leave.
I have to disagree with your assumption that the “me too” movement began as a force for good. It did not. It was always what it is now, it just had to hide itself behind good intentions…just like every other piece of leftist BS.