The height of selfish, self-involved society is upon us. Forget marriage, children, and the growth these relationships bring, ‘sologamists’ are marrying themselves.
Sologamy, or marrying one’s self, isn’t illegal, but it’s also not recognized as a legal union in any state.
Sologamists like Erika Anderson of Brooklyn describes her decision to marry herself as “women saying yes to themselves.”
“I would describe it as women saying yes to themselves,” Anderson said. “It means that we are enough, even if we are not partnered with someone else.”
In many ways, the 37-year-old bride looked like any other on her wedding day. She wore a white dress and had a bouquet. Anderson looked stunning with the Brooklyn bridge and New York City skyline behind her.
Except when she walked down the aisle, no one was waiting for her. That’s just the way she wanted it.
Anderson married herself to celebrate independence and believes others should, too.
“You’re worth it!” Anderson exclaimed.
Anderson just celebrated her one-year anniversary with a solo trip to Mexico. She said even though she’s married to herself, she’s dating and open to marrying another person.
“She’s dating and open to marrying another person.” Then why get married at all?
Nadine explains why she married herself:
Increased self-involvement, detachment from community, and neo-feminist culture are all mitigating factors in the rise of sologamy.
Neo-feminism’s move to emasculate men hasn’t just damaged men and diminished their needs. In the absence of true male presence, women have forgotten how to be women and are instead trying to fulfill needs that men traditionally meet all on their own (in the context of heterosexual relationships).
In dropping a daisy cutter on traditional maledom, the collective self-esteem and feeling of societal belonging for far too many women has been claimed as collateral damage.
“For better or worse” is a vow married folk make to another person. The “better” parts are easy, the “for worse” can be brutal. Sologamists preclude themselves from experiencing the growth that comes from “for worse.” You’re already stuck with yourself for the duration of your life whether you choose to marry yourself or not, making the vow to one’s self pretty meaningless.
There’s nothing wrong with being single. There is nothing wrong with affirming to yourself that as Anderson describes it “you are enough.” None of these singly is problematic. The issue lies in the belief that the fulfillment and betterment possible between two partners is attainable alone.
Marriage is not always easy. Living with another person, learning to balance their needs and wants with yours is inherently challenging at times. But it rounds us out, makes us less selfish, affords us a unique opportunity to grow, learn, and become better people coupled than we could ever hope to be alone.
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