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A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Get Offended

A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Get Offended

“People have every right to see things from their perspective, as long as their perspective is the same as my perspective.”

Do you know how to get offended by everything? Could your life use a little more outrage? Then, my friend, today is your lucky day.

In JP’s latest episode you’ll learn how to get real good and offended in three easy steps.

Step 1.

Listen to what someone says and then selflessly make it all about you by taking it personally, even if it has nothing to do with you.

Step 2.

Create a large amount of tension inside your body. You really want to concentrate on bringing attention to your stomach, your chest, and your face.

Step 3.

Project outrage onto the other person.

Follow Kemberlee on Twitter @kemberleekaye


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Oh God. Sounds exactly like my 14-year-old stepdaughter, she is so offended at everything and threatens self-harm unless we obey her. Her Mom is walking on eggshells and calling her Jim because she’s claiming to be a boy, and now I am in trouble because I refuse to accommodate the self-centered attitude of a mentally ill teenager. I just can’t even believe people are buying her act.

    The Friendly Grizzly in reply to Cassie. | March 11, 2017 at 3:06 pm

    I take it that sitting her down and telling her to cut the (solid digestive byproduct) is out of the question?