Illinois Declares October ‘Zombie Preparedness Month’
Illinois….the state known for keeping its priorities straight.
No, this is not a joke. No, this has nothing to do with Halloween. The state of Illinois has actually declared October “Zombie Preparedness Month.” From The Chicago Tribune:
The measure instead encourages people to learn more about natural disasters and ensure they have emergency supplies that could last up to 72 hours.
“I am told that if you are prepared for zombies, then you would be prepared to deal with a natural disaster like tornadoes, blizzards — natural disasters of any kind,” Rep. Emanuel Chris Welch, D-Hillside, said.
Republican Grant Wehrli from Naperville stated that the talk of “zombies bring levity to the conversation,” but “the measure calls attention to the importance of natural disaster planning.”
The Chicago Tribune continued:
The measure stirred some debate on the House floor. Rep. Lou Lang, D-Skokie, said the proposal “awakened various zombies in the chamber.”
Rep. Steven Andersson, R-Geneva, questioned which type of zombie should be used as a model for natural disaster preparedness, noting that the undead featured on the show “Z Nation” are quick and smart. Those portrayed on “The Walking Dead,” though, are slow but come in droves.
But Democrat William Davis from Homewood reminded his fellow lawmakers that these zombie apocalypses do not offer “a fair representation of natural disasters from which resilient Illinoisans bounce back.”
NO S***, SHERLOCK.
CNN has posted the full bill.
Of course, normal lawmakers of the state went off on the other lawmakers for not concentrating on the budget. Illinois remains one of the most corrupt and bankrupt states in the nation.
Republican Jeanne Ives from Wheaton reminded the lawmakers that they should pay attention to the economy:
“This may sound like fun, but if you’re really concerned about disaster, the natural disaster that’s happening in Illinois is all economic,” Ives said.
Why do lawmakers seem to think Americans are so freaking stupid that we can’t comprehend disaster preparedness without some kind of comic element??
Fuzzy pointed out to me that the federal government received a lot of heat for zombie-related preparedness and parties.
Back in 2012, the Department of Homeland Security spent an enormous amount of taxpayer money on a zombie apocalypse training program at a counter terrorism summit:
Among those wasteful expenditures include a $30,000 underwater robot for Columbus Ohio, a $69,000 hovercraft for Indianapolis, Indiana and a $240,000 armored personnel carrier to protect Keene, New Hampshire’s annual pumpkin festival.
The National Endowment of the Arts spent $60,000 of taxpayer money in 2015 for a “raunchy zombie-themed play” called “Zombie: The American.” The play was “about a president who faces a zombie invasion of the White House basement, met its funding guidelines, so it deserved the money.”
Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ) lashed out at the waste of money:
The show carried a warning about a long running time and “strong adult content, sexual situations, nudity and fog.” It ran for nearly a month earlier this summer, and despite the $60,000 in taxpayer help, still charged up to $68 a ticket, Mr. Flake said.
An NEA spokeswoman wouldn’t say what, specifically earned the play taxpayer money, pointing instead to agency guidelines that say projects are evaluated on artistic excellence and merit.
Donations tax deductible
to the full extent allowed by law.
So, they’re going to let people buy guns?
Didn’t think so.
Close down the National Endowment. Let the liberals pay for it out of their own pockets. It is has nothing for patriots or real Americans. Nothing.
The Planned Parenthood (e.g. clinical cannibalism) Corporation is the source of a clear and progressive threat from a resident evil.
This is a remnant of the Obama era’s lovehuggy relationship with Hollywood, which has put so much zombie product out in the past decade they knocked vampires off the favorite monster list.
Well, I can see how Zombie Preparedness Month could be a net positive.
It could emphasize the importance of immunizations, and the ability of the State to rapidly deploy resources in the event of a pandemic with quarantine and effective ‘herd immunity’ goals, much like previous now-stomped diseases.
It could bring neighborhoods together to counter urban gangs with neighborhood watches and reporting suspicious activity to the local police.
It could encourage the controlled use of concealed carry by assisting with the training of CC permit holders and the ongoing gun safety/practice at firing ranges.
Oh, wait. Illinois. Never mind.
You’re all missing the point. When you can make something serious look silly, then who’s going to take it seriously? When you can mock preppers for being ready for natural disasters and social breakdowns, you make it easier to ostracize and weaken the foundations of being self-sufficient and independent from the State. The GOP is no more interested in a self-sufficient populace than the liberals.
The home of Blago, Obama, Jackson, and a whole lot of other organized crime.
Oh come on.
We pick on liberals so often for doing stupid things, let’s not fall into the same trap.
It’s good to have a readiness plan. It’s good to have a specific reminder to review your plan. That’s why we test smoke alarms when adjusting for DST. As Dorothy L Sayers points out in Have his Carcass a lot of fortunes have been lost because a person had a good plan for a will but hadn’t yet created the will when they died.
As for couching it in humor, let’s not forget Alan Simpson’s reply to the accusation that some Senators were ETs.
You guys just take the fun out of humor.
Who wants to read “Emergency Preparedness Month” propaganda?
In the hands of a talented writer, “Zombie Preparedness Month” propaganda could be humorous and informative. I might even skim a few lines to see if it’s worth reading.
I would ignore Emergency Preparedness Month.
Democrat zombie preparedness = voter registration
Zombies is code for blacks and latino illegal immigrants.
Too many Americans are zombies in their understanding of law, the constitution and being prepared for anything except the next ball game. They will rue the day they didn’t take things seriously… and likely die quickly.
They have finally removed their heads from the twilight zone (a.k.a. penumbra) and recognized the resident evil. The clinical cannibals (a.k.a. zombies) are employees of the Planned Parenthood Corporation. It threatens to consume the bodies and souls of men, women, children, and babies, too.
I am told that if you are prepared for zombies, then you would be prepared to deal with a natural disaster like tornadoes, blizzards — natural disasters of any kind
You’d think that professional liars would at least be good at their jobs … but no, not the Government ones.
Zombie preparation is about firepower, and not much else. (Maybe a good supply of batteries, too.)
Firepower’s not of much use when dealing with wind, rain or snow. (Unless wind, rain or snow happen to bring out a bunch of zombies.)
Considering this is Illinois, a state as close to the cutting edge of disaster as any, yocks about a zombie apocalypse are about as entertaining as jokes about swimming lessons would have been on the Titanic.