Want to rid your neck of unsightly wrinkles? Look no futher! Nexsey is here to make you look creepy as hell younger and more…attractive?

Just when I thought 2017 would be a great year, I had the misfortunate of stumbling upon this terrifying invention:

Sure, you can have unnaturally taut skin until you’re sitting there, having a nice dinner, the tape pops off and your jowls come flying forward. And nothing says “attractive” like flying jowels.

Nexsey can be yours for a mere $19.99.

And if you’re looking to plump up those lips, the makers of Nexsey offer a whipped cream cap tiny little suction cup guaranteed to sultry up that pucker.

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