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Teen Ted Cruz Contemplates World Domination and Being a Porn Star

Teen Ted Cruz Contemplates World Domination and Being a Porn Star

BREAKING: 18-year-old Ted Cruz just like every other 18-year-old guy

I’m not sure if this was meant to be an oppo-dump or just funny, but it’s certainly the latter.

A video posted to a YouTube account called “Young Ted Cruz” Saturday shows an 18-year-old Sen. Cruz sitting next to a fountain at Second Baptist School in Houston, Texas talking about his life goals.

“Aspirations? Is that like sweat on my butt?” joked Cruz.

Teen Cruz had big hopes and dreams like one day starring in a “teen tit film.” But if that didn’t work out, he’d be content to “take over the world, world domination, you know — rule everything.”

The video concludes with a question to Cruz’s father. “Do you think Ted’s gonna rule the world one day?” Cruz Senior was asked. “I hope not,” he said smiling.

Surely there’s some sinister element to this video we’re all missing, right?

More likely? The Teen Cruz home video archives prove that 18-year-old guys will always act like 18-year-old guys, even if they do run for the highest office in the land thirty years later.

Basically:

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Comments

Ha ha! Love it! I used to say stuff like this when I was 18 too. Ted is a mensch!

Ya know it makes me want to shout — Cruz 2016!!

Let the pleas to low info voters begin!!!

Can’t wait for the one where he put the dog crate on the roof of us car and Letterman says that’s a good reason to not vote for him.

I guess I should be glad that he’s got a lot of the right people scared.

legacyrepublican | January 25, 2016 at 3:17 pm

Suggested tweet: Cruz grew out of it. Obama didn’t.

Didn’t Cruz’s father say something recently about Ted Cruz being destined to control the world or have authority over the world??

Yep, here it is:

In a sermon last year at an Irving, Texas, megachurch that helped elect Ted Cruz to the United States Senate, Cruz’ father Rafael Cruz indicated that his son was among the evangelical Christians who are anointed as “kings” to take control of all sectors of society, an agenda commonly referred to as the “Seven Mountains” mandate, and “bring the spoils of war to the priests”, thus helping to bring about a prophesied “great transfer of wealth”, from the “wicked” to righteous gentile believers.

http://www.talk2action.org/story/2013/10/16/143336/01/Front_Page/Cruz_Father_Suggests_Ted_Cruz_quot_Anointed_quot_to_Bring_The_Spoils_Of_War_To_The_Priests_

When I think back to my perpetually problematical persistently horny 18-year-old days and compare my dreams and get-some-ass pirations to his, all I can sadly conclude is that Ted Cruz …

… turns out after all to be a freaking moderate!!

He’s a RINO. (Raunchy Inclinations Not Odd)

Far, far worse than being Leader of the Choom Gang, dontchaknow. Someone should flag his file so he’s never allowed to run for anything.

Oh, and be sure he’s on the No Fly List so he can’t get a gun.

Ted likes titty. So what’s the problem? This has potential to be an area of common ground with Hillary. Win-win.

    userpen in reply to Merlin. | January 25, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    Good point! Rafael Eduardo de la Cruz likes it……well, what you said. Hillary likes it too. It’s only Huma.

    Andy in reply to Merlin. | January 25, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    He didn’t specify what kind of porn. Check your micro-aggressions at the door buddy!!!

    You’re going out on a limb asserting that 18 year old Ted thought Annette was the hottest mouskateer.

“Surely there’s some sinister element to this video we’re all missing, right?”

He’s white, male, clean cut, articulate, signalling distinct heterosexual tendencies and this was filmed in Texas. That’s the very definition of sinister if you are a D voter or a college professor. No doubt he reeks of white privilege too.

This is better than MSNBC covering Romney’s cutting hair. Great journalism, KK. Or maybe detraction?

Bill, I think I’ve had enough. I can get trash elsewhere.

The cool thing about Ted Cruz is that he grew out of this phase. Bill Clinton, the man who aspires to be First Guy? He’s still stuck there.

Remember the similar attacks against Scott Brown for posing for Cosmo? Back then, conservatives were united against ObamaCare and suddenly he was Hottie McAwesome and went on to win the senate seat in MA. Ah, the good ole days.

Yawn……………
Maybe from the Republican “establishment”?

LEVELS:

Ted Cruz: up here. Trump: up here, too.

Rubio: down here. Jeb! Bush: down here, too.

Bernie Saunders: basement.

Hillary Clinton: hell.

The Alinsky award for bash em’ with their own standards goes to LI.

Were Ted a lecherous Dem or poofter, it would be hands off. But because he’s a morally upright conservative …

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