In 2015’s America, no one expects greatness from a romantic thriller starring Jennifer Lopez; but every once in a while, something makes its way into the genre that is so incredibly ridiculous we can’t help but serve it up for censure and recriminations.
Lopez’s latest flick, “The Boy Next Door,” has all the makings of a movie I’ll eventually catch on Netflix after a glass of wine or two:
When a handsome, charming teenager named Noah (Ryan Guzman) moves in next door, newly separated high-school teacher Claire Peterson (Jennifer Lopez) encourages his friendship and engages in a little bit of harmless — or so she thinks — flirtation. Although Noah spends much of the time hanging out with Claire’s son, the teen’s attraction to her is palpable. One night, Claire gives in to temptation and lets Noah seduce her — but when she tries to end the relationship, he turns violent.
Obviously ridiculous—but internet snarkfest WTFark found something tucked into the many layers of this catastrophe that takes us beyond “ridiculous” and into the realm of “America is over.”
Behold:
First edition “Iliad.”
First. Editiion. “Iliad.”
First…no. I can’t.
Oh my god is right. As in, “oh my God, we are literally doomed.”
The internet lost it:
I’ll leave it to the comments to decide whether or not we need to publish a review of this cinematic gem.
(Please say “yes,” commenters! Please say “yes!”)
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