Another Black Friday is (almost) behind us, and while I’m 90% certain that no one has been trampled to death this year (yet,) things got a little crazy (read: completely insane) at retail outlets across the country.

Authorities said two women got into a pushing and shoving match — with at least one of them reportedly throwing a punch — over a Barbie doll on Thanksgiving evening.

Sheriff’s Deputies has to be called to the Walmart store in the 11700 block of Imperial Highway after reports of the fight broke out.

Witnesses said the two women began fighting over a Barbie doll just before 7 p.m.
Deputies were able to diffuse the situation and said no one was arrested.
Officials also said no one was injured in the altercation.

No one was injured, but reports are unclear as to whether or not their dignity was able to be salvaged from the rubble.

The insanity spread to the UK, where customers went wild over…TVs, or Tickle Me Elmos, or whatever it is that people are risking life and limb to spend money on these days.

As for myself, I stayed on the couch with a blanket and watched a Star Trek marathon; the only brawl I wanted to see involved a Romulan and an infuriatingly optimistic Cardassian battling over territory in the Neutral Zone.

The real question is, why do we do this to ourselves? A cursory inspection of the internet this morning revealed to me that many of the deals available in the early shopping hours of Black Friday are also available online. You may not be able to get 70% off of a TV, but 45% off sounds like just as good of a deal to me.

Am I missing something? Is it really worth it to risk life, limb, and dignity to get your hands on a cheap TV? Is there some sort of perverse satisfaction in spending boatloads of money at Walmart if you get marginally more bang for your buck? Are we all really just looking for an excuse to punch someone in the face?

Or is it simply as Gateway Pundit put it? A girl’s gotta have her discount panties!

Cleanup at the front!