A status update on two of America’s dumbest criminals

At Legal Insurrection, it sometimes is worthwhile taking a look at the fruits of American justice.I have some intriguing updates to share on two of our country’s most notorious idiotic criminals.Readers may recall that the son of Mike Kernell,a Democratic congressman from Tennessee, hacked Sarah Palin’s email account during her 2008 run with John McCain for the presidency. David Kernell was subsequently convicted and spent a year in jail, followed by probation.He is now free on early probation.

Kernell’s prison term ended in November 2011. He was scheduled to remain on probation until November 2014. This month, though, the federal judge who oversaw the case, Thomas Phillips, agreed to Kernell’s request to end his probation early….Phillips didn’t want to send Kernell to prison in the first place. He had ordered the college student to report to a halfway house in Knoxville. However, the U.S. Bureau of Prisons overruled Thomas and instead sent the 22-year-old straight to the pokey.

Professor Jacobson will be thrilled to learn of the young man’s next step: “Kernell’s future plans involved – wait for it – law school, according to Memphis station WMC. He wants to be a defense attorney but plans to take some time off – of something – before entering a J.D. program.”

The second genius was recently convicted of murder, courtesy of a tattoo of the crime scene on his chest.

A California gang member was convicted Wednesday of first-degree murder after authorities say a tattoo on his chest depicting the murder scene led to his apprehension. 25-year-old Anthony Garcia (pictured above) could face life in prison for his role in the 2004 shooting at a Pico Rivera liquor store.Garcia eluded police until 2008 when he was picked up for driving with a suspended license. Suspecting that he was an active member of the Rivera-13 gang, police then photographed his tattoos and took a mugshot.While looking for leads on an entirely different crime, Det. Sgt. Kevin Lloyd came across Garcia’s picture in the mug book when something struck him: “it looked like a murder from way back when.” He then drove to the liquor store named on Garcia’s tattoo and cross-referenced with the old case file.Lloyd was so struck by the detailed accuracy of the tattoo that he called it a “crime scene sketch and a confession.”

Garcia’s tattoo captured the night of the shooting, from the Christmas lights outside the liquor store to the bent light post in the store’s parking lot to the convalescent home called the Rivera, next door to the liquor store. The scene shows a chopper spraying bullets on a victim. Garcia’s gang nickname is “Chopper.” The victim, John Juarez, is depicted as a Mr. Peanut. The peanut is commonly used as a symbol of a rival gang in Pico Rivera, Lloyd said. The crime scene is under a tattoo on Garcia’s neck that reads “Rivera Kills.”

Perhaps someday Kernell will represent Garcia!

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