From Mickey Kaus:

“Multiple triggers”/Legalization is immediate. DHS just  has to write border  “plan.”  The most any “triggers” can possibly do is delay green cards  and citizenship.

“90 % effectiveness”/ If not reached, triggers only toothless commission. … Also: “90%  effectiveness”–as defined by DHS–is really more like 50%.

“Pay back taxes”/ Only if already “assessed” by IRS (unlikely). Newly  legalized may instead get refunds.

“Learn English”/ Only need to sign  up for English  class.

Clean record”/ Allows two free misdemeanors. Additional  misdemeanors (including assaults) can be waived by DHS.

No “public charge.” Must earn 125% of poverty line / They’re  going to deport people who earn only 124% or less? Ha.

“Pay a fine”/ Can be waived by DHS

“Back of the line”/ Get to wait out the line while  living in the U.S (unlike suckers trying to come here legally).

There’s more at the link.