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One step away from #Gosnell

One step away from #Gosnell

The author doesn’t have the guts to put his name on it.

Not surprised.

As horrible as this might sound, we found ourselves wishing these twins away.

We considered a reduction for about 30 seconds. (That’s essentially an abortion of one twin, not both.) If you thought that IVF involved playing God, a reduction felt beyond brazen — Machiavellian, even. Give us a reason, we thought, as we had the twins tested for genetic anomalies. None came….

Our fear is not the new parent fear of the unknown. It’s the smart, informed fear of the known. Our biggest nightmare is that we’ll have colic again, or double colic. This time around, we’re counting down — not like expecting parents but like cancer patients with only months to live. Enjoy life while you can, for soon it’s double the diapers, double the feedings. Half of zero sleep is … less than zero?

So tell me how this isn’t going to suck. (Did I mention we live in a one-bedroom apartment?) Sure, in 10 years I could have close to a starting five of super-athletic, NBA-hopeful alpha males living under my roof smelling up the joint. But right now it’s hard for us to see twins as good news.

I’m trying not to be so bitter and to embrace what’s ahead of us. It’s possible these kids will sleep at some point, I suppose. In the meantime, I’ve promised to stop referring to one of the boys as “extra” and have told my wife I will try to refrain from calling my first-born son “the free one.”

With four months left to go, I’m not sure what stage we’re in at the moment — but it’s not acceptance. My wife and I even both privately admitted that we don’t like the new children, which is of course insane. Excited? We’re not there yet. Terrified? Yes, when we’re not practicing denial.

They say the most important thing is the kids’ health — but what about ours?

Beyond words.

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Comments

I’m sure that whatever reason stopped them from having an abortion was entirely self-centered.

SoCA Conservative Mom | May 6, 2013 at 3:51 pm

I became pregnant with my younger son when my older son was 10 months old. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown with raising a 10 month old who was almost walking, but not yet sleeping through the night, colic – hahaha, I’ve been there, breast feeding 2 babies, working 50 to 60 hours a week, my husband retiring from the Navy 4 months before my due date and the prospect of being unemployed, and facing having a baby with a serious heart defect. Not for a second did I wish my younger son away.

These people are spoiled brats. They wanted their cake, now they have to eat it. This “article” is one big “me, mE, MEE, but what about MEEEEEE?” Other parents will chime in that they too didn’t want one or another of their children, which will be very comforting to him when he walks out on his family.

man.
already got one kid, live in 1 room apt.
have fertility treatment to have more kids and whines because the treatment works like it often does.
what a pile of sh*t he is.

    docrambo in reply to dmacleo. | May 8, 2013 at 10:19 am

    Amen. Life is what happens when you’re making other plans. Life is not fair. Being a parent requires hard work. These self centered meglomaniacs deserve all the sleepless nights they have coming. I don’t see either of them being strong parents,

So they’re contemplating murder because they’re lazy?

    average josephine in reply to punfundit. | May 6, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    Wow. Yes. Thanks, I needed the laugh.

    But it is a painful reminder of the triplet reduction story from a few years back,

    When One Is Enough —
    Having learned that I was pregnant with triplets, I asked, Do I have to have all of them?

    “I had just finished watching a Boston Pops concert at Symphony Hall. As everybody burst into applause, I watched my cellphone vibrating, grabbed it and ran into the lobby. [The specialist] told me that he does a detailed sonogram before doing a selective reduction to see if one fetus appears to be struggling. The procedure involves a shot of potassium chloride to the heart of the fetus. There are a lot more complications when a woman carries multiples. And so, from the doctor’s perspective, it’s a matter of trying to save the woman this trauma.”

    ecreegan in reply to punfundit. | May 6, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    They’re contemplating murder – for, they say, all of 30 seconds – because they’re at their wits’ end just contemplating a pair of twins on top of their current children. Really, as long as all they do is consider the idea long enough to reject it, I think all this condemnation is entirely overblown.

      BannedbytheGuardian in reply to ecreegan. | May 6, 2013 at 10:31 pm

      I thinit is the whole tone of the rant. I saw it when it first went up ( via a post on LI ) & almost all of the reactions were contemptuous.

This is just another example, a particularly heinous example, of what Pope John Paul 2 called the as the “Culture of Death”

“the climate of widespread moral uncertainty can in some way be explained by the multiplicity and gravity of today’s social problems, and these can sometimes mitigate the subjective responsibility of individuals, it is no less true that we are confronted by an even larger reality, which can be described as a veritable structure of sin. This reality is characterized by the emergence of a culture which denies solidarity and in many cases takes the form of a veritable ‘culture of death.’ This culture is actively fostered by powerful cultural, economic and political currents which encourage an idea of society excessively concerned with efficiency. Looking at the situation from this point of view, it is possible to speak in a certain sense of a war of the powerful against the weak: a life which would require greater acceptance, love and care is considered useless, or held to be an intolerable burden, and is therefore rejected in one way or another. A person who, because of illness, handicap or, more simply, just by existing, compromises the well-being or life-style of those who are more favoured tends to be looked upon as an enemy to be resisted or eliminated. In this way a kind of ‘conspiracy against life’ is unleashed. This conspiracy involves not only individuals in their personal, family or group relationships, but goes far beyond, to the point of damaging and distorting, at the international level, relations between peoples and States.

Personal responsibility gone bonkers…

DINORightMarie | May 6, 2013 at 4:25 pm

So give one child up for adoption!

Sick that they even contemplate killing one.

Both healthy, both vital, both theirs.

Sick.

    Absolutely correct. Contemplating murder because they are too lazy to change a baby’s diapers? This is beyond sickening!

    Give one up for adoption if you are too lazy to take care of more than one, or better yet, ABSTAIN FROM HAVING ANY CHILDREN IF YOU ARE TOO SICK IN THE BRAIN TO ENGAGE THE THOUGHT OF MURDERING THEM!

    I’m amazed in God’s mercy, that he just doesn’t end it all right now, but apparently there are a few more good people out there still yet to be saved. Pray for these people, they are in desperate need of a moral compass.

    stevewhitemd in reply to DINORightMarie. | May 6, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    I’m an adoptive father. My gorgeous kid is now an adult.

    While my wife and I are advancing in years, we’ll take both twins, sight unseen, on the day of birth. If these two ‘adults’ can’t raise the children we will.

    Give me a call.

    taznar in reply to DINORightMarie. | May 6, 2013 at 5:48 pm

    Yep. Amazed me they never mention the work adoption. Sounds like giving both up for adoption might be the best route for everyone involved.

Yeah, I can see the problem: there are already two kids living there.

If I had thought for one second that I could field an NBA starting line up by this time 30 years ago I would have wore the wife out and become an agent.

You can tell the knuckle draggers have an inability to think any further than the next episode of how I met your mother.

One should be more careful of their metaphors.

I am so disgusted!! What kind of monster would want to ABORT their child(ren) especially chosing one of them?! They’re no better than Hitler’s Nazi’s!! They have torn up their parent card in my opinion. Take the kids away from them and let them be adopted by a loving, two-parent family.

Ragspierre | May 6, 2013 at 4:58 pm

Best outcome for these two kids…

these selfish, stupid pukes put them up for adoption by people who would NEVER think of killing their children.

So we had this constant push from the sex-obsessed, pleasure-obsessed death culture that it’s “better for the child” to be murdered than to be “unwanted.” (As if unwantedness is a trait inherent in the child.)

Now we have these “parents” who find themselves in the uncomfortable position of trying to decide which one is the unwanted one. “Dang! They look the same! Should we flip a coin?”

We’re seeing the fruits of a couple generations raised under the double whammy of Roe vs Wade and a “you need to get laid” culture.

It’s only going to get uglier… and more casual about the slaughter.

    jdkchem in reply to RKae. | May 6, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    The “you need to get laid” culture is pretty old. It just used to be balanced by 12 gauge.

“The author doesn’t have the guts to put his name on it.

Not surprised.”

No doubt! I guess he didn’t want to get the ever living carp beaten out of his sick twisted mind both figuratively and literally.

scooterjay | May 6, 2013 at 5:42 pm

sickening. they should be forced to roast and eat that child they elected to kill. God will judge them one day…….are YOU ready?

    ecreegan in reply to scooterjay. | May 6, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    They didn’t elect to kill a child; they contemplated it and quickly rejected the idea.

      rkbrumbelow in reply to ecreegan. | May 7, 2013 at 11:19 am

      As per the article:’Give us a reason, we thought, as we had the twins tested for genetic anomalies. None came’

      You do not quickly check genetics, this was not a passing thought despite the statement about it being 30 seconds

I have grown twin sons, the greatest gift I ever received.

These people may be in for a surprise once they are born. For the boys’s sake, I hope so. If he doesn’t come around, this couple is a divorce in the making.

nordic_prince | May 6, 2013 at 6:39 pm

Unbelievable. This pathetic excuse of a man (I presume) and his wife don’t deserve to be blessed with any children if they could so coldly contemplate – even briefly – killing one of their children solely for the sake of their own convenience.

Disgusting p***s.

For God’s sake and her children’s sake take those kids from her and give them to a loving family before it is too late!

lifeforall | May 6, 2013 at 7:11 pm

My daughter, who is a cancer patient just found out she can’t have children. Could we have one or both of these boys to raise for you??? Please!!!

    Best wishes and prayers to you and daughter. With you as a parent, she has all she needs to overcome this vile affliction. FIGHT! She! Must! and You! As! Well!

    Juba Doobai! in reply to lifeforall. | May 7, 2013 at 2:49 am

    Prayers ascending for your daughter. God will give her great joy in other ways.

‘sCuse my french or whateveh’ language you choose BUT are you fucking kidding me?!

“they say the most important thing is the kids’ health — but what about ours”?

Best thing that could occur for your future offsping IS you two die early!

Sad they can’t comprehend the gifts they were given. Too self absorbed.

Adopt these out as newborns. Somebody wants these innocents.

PLEASE, LADY! LET ME AND MY WIFE TAKE THOSE TWO BOYS OFF YOUR HANDS. WE’LL LOVE THEM. YOU DON’T WANT THEM. ALL YOU AND YOUR SOCIOPATHIC PARTNER WILL DO WITH THEM IS TURN THEM INTO SELF-HATING, NEUTERED GIRLY-MEN. THERE ARE PLENTY OF THOSE ALREADY.

What is important is if they ultimately made the right choice. What is odd is that they are discussing their anxiety publicly; but, this may ultimately be a good thing, if other people experiencing the same symptoms also make the right choice. The anxiety is normal. Choosing life is the right choice. Accepting responsibility for your choices promotes individual, couple, and general Welfare.

BannedbytheGuardian | May 6, 2013 at 10:34 pm

Actually I do not think it is true. It seems to me to be a gay joke.

I disagree: It is normal to be anxious and concerned about the challenges of twins. It is NOT normal to be thinking about KILLING one or both of them because you (the selfish parent) wanted a girl. Sharing this thought process (that it is even acceptable in a civilized society for parents to consider killing a child to avoid the responsibility)only normalizes the deviancy rather than leading people to make the right choice.

That makes me so mad after reading it.

Contrast the mindset of the article, with the mindset of the man depicted in this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5zCaRaJ-kE

Worlds apart, I’d much rather be in the world of people like Darius Rucker.

Juba Doobai! | May 7, 2013 at 2:51 am

Abortion as salvation. Selfishness as a fundamental human right. It would be good if they could give both kids up for adoption cuz they don’t seem to like kids.

Darius Rucker is right, it won’t be like this for long. Meantime, you have the joy and pleasure of watching God’s miracle of life unfold.

Despite the poor child’s genetic background, I would take him off this whining millennial prick’s hands (and raise him right, pun intended)!

Problem solved.

A little-known consequence of certain fertility treatments is the “reduction” of excess children. Articles like this one at least bring the circumstances to light. I wonder how many people go in for fertility treatments without comprehending that part of the plan is to abort some babies to reduce their pregnancy to a single child. Having never investigated the process, I was horrified when I first learned that abortion-by-another-name is apparently commonplace within that world: http://pecancorner.blogspot.com/2011/08/boutique-abortion-some-terrible-truths.html

Those who have, for whatever reason, had or advocated abortion and now repent, please know you can be forgiven, and redemption is possible. Do not despair, for Jesus Christ came to save you, to restore what evil has taken, and to turn it all for Good in the final outcome.

stevewhitemd, lifeforall, lcp, God bless you for your open arms. We must restore habits of expressing nothing but JOY at the notice of pregnancy – any pregnancy – to begin restoring the understanding of what a blessing life is.

Remember some of the whining soldier stories that got national publicity and turned out to be fake?

Just sayin’

“They say the most important thing is the kids’ health — but what about ours?”. Wow. We ahve bred a generation of self centered post modern wimps. I weep for my country

[…] just beside himself over the horrific prospect of life with twin boys, as quoted by Babble via Legal Insurrection, May […]

[…] We're having twins and I'm not happy about it, thought about aborting one twin. […]

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