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The revolution will not be wearing spandex

The revolution will not be wearing spandex

Or a Lance Armstrong Livestrong Team Radio Shack jersey.

I guess you didn’t get that directive from the Central Committee, Comrade.

From reader 9th District Neighbor:

Mild weather always brings out the men in tights who bicycle in large groups, usually in the middle of the road. This fellow was spotted in north suburban Chicago about two Saturdays ago. I tried several times to get a photograph, and finally snapped one as he approached a stop sign; I had hoped he would stop, but of course he just blew through. Street signs are so plebeian….

The irony of the tattoo in combination with his choice of spandex certainly was lost on him; at least the color of the shirt was correct. As I finally passed him, I saw that he was in his late 50s or early 60s. I suppose this is what happens to kids who wear Che Guevara tee shirts.

Thanks for doing such a great job. Your humble blog grows in influence every day.

And it won’t be on television either, so no need to dress up.


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Let me guess…rebel as a student, who, upon finding that capitalism works, now resides in Kenilworth!

    Mike R in reply to herm2416. | June 17, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    But on the Kennel side, not the Worth side.

    JackRussellTerrierist in reply to herm2416. | June 18, 2012 at 2:14 am

    It’s not just the spandex at odds with the tat. I find Ivan’s love handles to be out of step with the tat…..and with the bike, for that matter.

    Ivan has not been properly deprived. He is not wont to want.

Who’s the short dumpy dog on a bike next to him? “Beware the shadow you cast.”

This puke is very likely a professional, too.

Note the strategic placement. Not exactly letting his freak flag fly when his trouser leg assures that is never seen in the office.

Plus, aren’t there some Chicago neighborhoods where that symbol would be “unwise”?

In soviet Russia, tattoo wears you

On second thought , that may not be a dog , it may be an alien from ET. The mans choice in rectal attire suggests he’s been probed. They did have the finger with an unexplained glowing dingleberry at the end.

“It is also no accident that some members of the middle classes should have adopted a typically proletarian form of bodily adornment as a badge not only of independence, but also of liberal virtue. A tattoo establishes them as tolerant, open-minded, and sympathetic towards those below them in the social scale: the highest virtues of which they can conceive. The tattoo thus appeals to the kind of modern bourgeois who believes that foulness of language is a token of purity of heart, or at least of sincerity. The tattoo, like the constant resort to the swearword, is an attack on bourgeois propriety, and as such a demonstration of largeness of heart and generosity of spirit.
Of course, this antinomianism (itself so tiresomely bourgeois) has a tinny ring. I am reminded…
…Besides, the bourgeois who has himself tattooed is, as this book indicates, at least as anxious to distinguish himself from the real proletarian as he is to identify with him. The tattoo is thus to the modern bourgeois what playing shepherdess was to Marie Antoinette. The woman whose tattoo was supposed to say “Fuck you” to her university did not really want to become the janitor of her faculty building, and probably would have very little to say to him. Egalitarians usually have a very strong sense of hierarchy. “
Theodore Dalrymple

BannedbytheGuardian | June 17, 2012 at 9:34 am

The Hammer & Sickle is one of the great design icons .I don’t know why Americans get so upset.

It just symbolizes the union of the agricultural & industrial worker which was rare prior to the USSR.

You never know -he might have the Tsarist symbols on his buttocks.

First, let me wish a Happy Father’s Day, to those blessed, fugetabout the graying or losing of the hair, that being a DADDY may have contributed to.

The ASSHAT riding his bike, is most assuredly tickled that Alinsky 44 STILL has a good shot at winning his second of many terms, UNTIL the Le*gal In*sur*rec*tion, that is..

Taxpayer1234 | June 17, 2012 at 11:16 am

I live in Boulder County, Colorado, where you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a pretentiously pious biker. Their battle cry is “share the road,” but they don’t obey the rules of the road. ‘Cause they’re SPECIAL, doncha know. GRRR.

I have to post this hear because I can’t get to the home page…is anyone else having an issue ? Just get the IE error when I try to go.

BannedbytheGuardian | June 17, 2012 at 9:34 am

It may be a great symbol in the advertising world, but if you had ever had to live under it, you would be singing another song. Your comment was akin to Hollywood idiots using the Chinese Communist star or Che Guevara’s visage as a fashion statement,without knowing the story behind it. My parents were lucky to get away, so I take this very seriously and personally and it ticks me off when my fellow Americans, with no idea of what this meant for PEOPLE, try to somehow excuse it. My apologies, as my intention is not to offend, just create awareness that whenever you make inane statements like that, you are dancing on the graves of many.

    BannedbytheGuardian in reply to MAB. | June 17, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    I have not seen the Hammer & Sickle used as an advertising symbol. You are confusing it with the Che Guevara T shirts & hats .

    Your parents came from the USSR? So What? I’ve got a whole set of Genuine White Russians who can also claim victimhood status from the Chinese Revolution. Thats the Jackpot!

    But they come here & build their Old Rite Orthodox Churches. Then the real Russians -who lived through the whole thing & not fled -came & told them where to jump off & that they were cowards.

    Don’t presume I don’t know the history . Maybe the cyclist does also.

LukeHandCool | June 17, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Thank God the revolution will not be televised.

Just listening about it for a minute is tedious enough! | June 17, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I’m a cyclist, so I don’t have a problem with Lycra. I will point out, however, that his cycling shoes and “clipless” pedals (with a pressure release like a ski binding) most likely cost the better part of $200 or more. It’s hard to tell, but the seat post and pedal cranks might be pricey carbon fiber.

It could be worse. It could be some aboriginal tribe’s sacred symbol on his leg.

I’m proud to ride a Litespeed, made in Tennessee by folks who learned how to weld titanium making stuff for the Pentagon.

    BannedbytheGuardian in reply to | June 17, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    I am quite partial to viewing the bottom & legs of a serious male cyclist . 300k per week gives great definition & I am always ready to share the road . I have my First aid kit ready if they should fall & need a bit of attention.

    My advice to this guy is thanks for the compression pants & lose 30lbs.