I was getting down about all the generic “holiday” cards I was getting.

Completely content-void sayings like:

“Wishing you a wonderful Holiday Season”

and

“Seasons Greetings and Best Wishes for a Happy New Year”

Wish me a Merry Christmas, damn it, even though I’m Jewish.

I demand it.

By failing to wish me a Merry Christmas you deprive me of the opportunity to respond, “and a Happy Hanukkah to you.”

To the reader who brightened my day and sent me the “Merry Christmas from Texas” card featured above, I say:

“and a Happy Hanukkah to you” (even though it did come really early this year).