As Kathleen posted earlier, Warren Buffett is backing away from the so-called Buffett Rule, which apparently is not so much a Rule as a stream of consciousness sprinkled with thoughts and afterthoughts.

The best thing about the Buffett Rule Non-Rule What Are You Talking About, is that Think Progress is spinning like an out-of-control top to make sense of it all for the sake of The One.

But there are some Buffet(t) Rules I think we all can agree upon:

Rule #1: Do a Lap Before you Commit

This one is obvious, but there’s nothing worse than getting to the end of the buffet line, and having to balance a nice piece of Fillet Mignon on top of a pile of iceberg lettuce and industrial ranch dressing.  Don’t feel awkward about cruising the entire layout before you pick up a plate.

Rule #2: Focus on the Expensive Stuff

That’s one of the beauties of the buffet, right?  It’s the same price if you eat only bread or only meat.  Have another steak.  Try some fish.  If you don’t eat meat, hover around the cheese or the sweets.  Don’t be shy.

Rule #3: Watch the Carbs

This is not an ad for the Atkins Diet; it is simply a reminder that the rice, bread, pasta or potato on your plate is guaranteed to take up valuable real estate in your stomach; you are probably better off having more lobster and toning down the carbs.

See, we all can get along if we put our minds to it.