The Cornell Review began the week after Spring Break with esteemed Cornell alum, Keith Olbermann, stomping on a copy of February’s publication and calling most conservatives stupid.
So while the week started rough, today the Review team distributed a parody of our resident lefty-newspaper, The Cornell Daily Sun. The Cornell Daily Stun has a few Cornellians-only jokes mixed in, but I think anyone who went to a liberal arts college — short of maybe Hillsdale students — will appreciate the jabs it makes.
“Students’ infantile desire for money, wealth, products, goods, pleasantries, conveniences, serviceds, and general selfsustainability needs to end. Graduating Cornellians seeking employment are saps that have obviously never experienced the pleasure of building your own cardboard house in Central Park or foraging for edible greens in a dumpster. Until you’ve tasted the bitter sweetness of your own piss filtered through a beautifully crafted sock-and-rock contraption, you haven’t tasted life at its fullest.We’re not going to stand up to just those coke-addled Gordon Gekko wannabe Wall Street fat cats – I’m talking about any group of individuals who make up an institution that has been created to conduct business. .. NONE should be allowed to recruit on campus.”