Boss abuses his position of power to sleep with multiple staff members. One of the staff members, or someone else with knowledge, seeks to extort boss. The boss is a creep who should be shamed for using his power to obtain sex — am I sounding enough like a feminist? The staff member, or whoever did the extortion, is a criminal extortionist.

David Letterman can take comfort in the fact that he only is a creep, not a criminal. But he is a special type of creep:

In an uncharacteristically personal revelation for David Letterman, the host took to his “Late Show” stage Thursday to admit that he was the victim of an extortion attempt — and acknowledge that he has had sexual relations with more than one staff member.

According to a press release sent by Letterman’s PR reps, the host first received a package three weeks ago from someone who claimed to have information about alleged sexual relations he has had with female employees of the “Late Show.”

The individual threatened to go public with the allegations unless Letterman paid the person $2 million.

Just this week, Letterman was mocking Sarah Palin again. He has mocked Palin’s children in the past.

Letterman is a hypo-creep who makes millions belittling people who disagree with his politics while he is abusing his power over his female staff. Maybe there was some wishful thinking when Letterman joked about a Yankees player hitting on Sarah Palin’s 14-year-old daughter.

And typical for Letterman, he has successfully turned the story to the extortion, not his own disreputable behavior. And of course, protecting his family:

“My response to that [allegation of sexual relationships] is, ‘Yes I have.’ Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would,” Letterman said. “I feel like I need to protect these people. I need to certainly protect my family.”

How about a top ten list of reasons why David Letterman is a sanctimonious phony?

UPDATE: Turns out the person extorting Letterman was the show’s producer. Also turns out that Letterman was sleeping with “several” staffers. Why is Letterman different than, say, the usual run of Republican and Democratic politicians who have had affairs? Because Letterman built his career and keeps his name in the news by mocking people, mostly people who do not agree with his liberal politics, such as Sarah Palin. In his monologue last night (one of the few times I have watched him in the past decade), he again devoted substantial time to going after Palin. While I have no sympathy for an extortionist, and the person should be prosecuted, I have just as little sympathy for Letterman.

Added: A top ten list, from Jim Treacher: Top Ten Reasons to Accept That Job Offer from David Letterman. My favorite: “After the sex, he lets you keep the Palin wig.”

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