Submitted by a Cornell Alum who attended our Cornell antisemitism event. There’s some inside baseball here, but you will figure it out:
‘Twas just days before Christmas, when all through the House,
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Congressmen prepped their questions with care,
awaiting their guests, soon to be there.
In Ithaca, the students shook in their beds;
While intifada nightmares raged in their heads.
Cornell Top Brass lay caught in their DEI trap;
But intercession soon – and a long winter’s nap.
When down in DC there arose such a clatter;
The Brass sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
The media hordes threw up a news flash:
“The Ivies Hit Congress In A Great PR Splash”.
Presidential words from on-high would bestow
great Ivy wisdom to the peons below.
When, what to the Big Red’s eyes should appear,
a challenge to the Universities’ three great reindeer,
With a tongue and a temper, so lively and quick,
in a moment the Brass knew it was Stefanik.
Speeding like arrows, the questions they came;
She whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Liz and Claudine ! Now, Sally – you vixen!
The American people – you shall no longer trick them.”
“To the top of my voice! to the top of this hall!
You will tell truth, tell the truth, tell the truth, all!”
“So what have you done to our Ivy schools dear?
Have you spoiled and besmirched them — and filled them with fear?”
There is no escape. You cannot hide.
So tell us the truth, do you appease genocide?
The three “Mavens of Woke” knew not what to say;
So they used some big words and brushed questions away.
But Elise was determined – would not turn around;
So back to the Mavens she came with a bound.
Stutters and stammers were heard head to foot;
The answers were jumbled — all ashes and soot.
Stefanik kept pushing. She would not relent.
The Mavens were shameless — refused to repent.
They shuffled and shifted and squirmed in their seats.
They checked their notebooks and read through their sheets.
The Mavens all thought “We have PhD’s.
Our wisdom can outstrip these lowlifes with ease.”
But Elise had the necks of the three in her teeth;
And the rage, it encircled her head like a wreath.
“I will ask you again. You can’t hide, don’t you know;
Does calling for genocide break your rules – YES or NO?”
With a squint of their eyes and a tilt of their heads,
the Mavens seemed sure they had nothing to dread.
They glanced at each other, they knew what to say next.
They relaxed in their chairs, said “Depends on CONTEXT.”
Just a few minutes later, the airwaves erupted.
All America then knew: the Ivies…. Corrupted!
Penn sprang into action. Liz Magill was dispensed.
But Harvard unsure. MIT on defense.
Hanukkah, Christmas should be times of good cheer.
But up north in Ithaca, the climate is fear.
The DEI dogma now reigns at Cornell.
The President’s fixed, come hatred or hell.
There’s only one answer, if answer there be.
The Admin must give way to the loyal Trustees.
But they speak not a word and we wait for their work;
As we pray the hate stops — while bad policies lurk.
No matter the color of hate that’s been seeded,
an end of division and dogma is needed.
Until the Board acts to boldly restore us,
Tears will be shed ‘round Cornell’s menorahs.
So let us convince our Trustees on the Hill,
To preserve those great values Old Ezra instilled.
Remember our Legacy, where Cornellians must trod;
“Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas… a good-night and Chabad.”
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