Image 01 Image 03

Lab Test Confirms Cocaine was in the White House, Likely Won’t Find the Culprit

Lab Test Confirms Cocaine was in the White House, Likely Won’t Find the Culprit

Something is going on. They don’t have cameras at a part where people enter and leave the White House? Law enforcement cannot test for fingerprints?

Question! Which one is the better cocaine song? Feel Good Hit of the Summer by Queens of the Stone Age or Cocaine by Eric Clapton?

The Secret Service confirmed the white substance found in the White House tested positive for cocaine.

The first reports stated the agents found it in the library, which could mean the residential part. Then they said they found it in a place visited by guests and staff.

One official told CBS News the agents found the cocaine “near an entrance where visitors taking tours are directed to leave their phones.”

Weird, right? Again, I admit I’m not as against conspiracy theorists as I used to be.

The dispatch call said they found the cocaine in the residence’s library. How do they mix that up with an entrance? I don’t get it. I think people can tell the difference between a library and a guest/staff entrance.

When you find a suspicious item, whether it’s a package or powder, you leave it where you found it. You don’t touch anything. Therefore, if anyone says they moved it to test it, I won’t believe them.

Hunter Biden, who has a history with cocaine, was at Camp David when the Secret Service found the cocaine. That doesn’t mean anything to me, though.

The discovery led to an evacuation. A hazmat crew went to the White House while Secret Service blocked off streets.

Now law enforcement said we likely won’t find out who brought the cocaine into the White House.

You guys don’t have cameras? Cannot test for fingerprints? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? This is insane. If the Secret Service does regular sweeps as they claim, then it shouldn’t be hard to find out who brought the cocaine.

Give me a break. Oh wait, here’s an excuse:

Asked what the chances were of finding the culprit, the official said that “it’s gonna be very difficult for us to do that because of where it was.”

“Even if there were surveillance cameras, unless you were waving it around, it may not have been caught” by the cameras, added the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity given that it’s an ongoing investigation. “It’s a bit of a thoroughfare. People walk by there all the time.”

So the White House doesn’t have cameras at a part where people regularly enter and leave the building. Again, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

The Secret Service said: “On Sunday evening, the White House complex went into a precautionary closure as officers from the Secret Service Uniformed Division investigated an unknown item found inside a work area. The DC Fire Department was called to evaluate and quickly determined the item to be non-hazardous.”

Non-hazardous? I had sinus surgery a few years ago. I was curious how they did it, so I looked up sinus surgeries on YouTube.

I came across nose surgeries for cocaine addicts. Non-hazardous? Yeah, whatever. That stuff wastes away your septum and disfigures your nose. You end up looking like Voldemort from Harry Potter.

They’re lucky kids didn’t get their hands on it.


Donations tax deductible
to the full extent allowed by law.


Brandon is sooo passe.

Joe Blow is more fitting

During my anestheria rotation, we were doing revision oral surgery and had to open the nasal passages as wide as possible. The patient was about 20. As per protocol I hosed his nasal passages with cocaine solution. I bet that was the “best” pre-op prep he ever had.

    JohnSmith100 in reply to alaskabob. | July 5, 2023 at 3:45 pm

    I had sinus surgery twice, it is not fun.

    RandomCrank in reply to alaskabob. | July 5, 2023 at 7:30 pm

    When I was 18 years old, I had a tonsillectomy, which is late for that operation. They usually did them on little kids. A couple weeks later, the stitches opened up. On the way to the hospital, I was hanging my head out the window while blood was pumping out of my throat.

    They got me to the emergency room, and the docs dabbed cocaine on the wound, it being a vasoconstrictor. They got me stitched up, and I was high as a kite. The experience effectively deterred me from future cocaine use after one try in college. The street version was a joke. I laughed and told everyone that what they were snorting was no better than a few cups of coffee.

      alaskabob in reply to RandomCrank. | July 5, 2023 at 9:16 pm

      Hence the 7% solution. Adult tonsilectomy and the old thyroid surgery for which they kept a suture removal kit at bedside…. in case the sutures failed and hemorrhaging started the nurses could rip apart the sutures to prevent choking to death.

      Remember… all disease is self-limiting and all bleeding stops… eventually.

      Dimsdale in reply to RandomCrank. | July 5, 2023 at 10:01 pm

      Remember Paragoric?

Your question, Answer Cocaine by Clapton, much better guitar riffs. Was the agent Crack or powdered cocaine. Crack is cheap, probably not Hunter’s at this point. He can afford the good stuff.

SeymourButz | July 5, 2023 at 3:48 pm

I’d be willing to believe given the state of DC that a wayward tourist or homeless left his stash in a visitor’s area. Certainly speaks to how far our country has fallen.

But I find it much more likely that the admitted drug addict this administration fights tooth and nail to protect simply got too comfortable in the people’s house

JohnSmith100 | July 5, 2023 at 3:49 pm

Release of video of the area is in order, they know who it is and that is probably Hunter.

    Mary Chastain in reply to JohnSmith100. | July 5, 2023 at 5:08 pm

    Apparently, the White House doesn’t have cameras at that location. But even if they did, an official said it’d be useless. Both excuses smell rotten.

I’m waiting for the fingerprints found on the container and any DNA residue on the substance to be identified. I bet that info about that will never be forthcoming.

Did you mean “Formal lab results“?
Because “Formal lab” sounds like a place with black tails instead of white lab coats.

Clapton wins, every time.

    CommoChief in reply to irv. | July 5, 2023 at 5:32 pm

    Though Chapelle Show /Charlie Murphy ‘True Hollywood. Stories’ episode about his interaction with Rick James comes damn close. ‘Cocaine is a helluva drug’.

Bet it’s not can’t but won’t
Protecting one of the Leftist employees or staff is my guess

Clapton of course

SeymourButz | July 5, 2023 at 5:36 pm

Why would Biden pass up the political slam dunk that would be clearing his son’s name?

Probably because Hunter’s standing behind him gritting his teeth.

“Likely Won’t Find the Culprit”

Of course not. It would be a monumental task to keep track of everybody going in and out of the West Wing of the White House. It’s not a manageable task like monitoring the movement of thousands of people who went to the US Capitol on Jan 6th.

“Question! Which one is the better cocaine song”

Slowhand, of course.

Garland can find a cancer ridden grandmother that accepted the police invite to tour the Capitol on 1/6 but can’t find the cocaine deliverer or the Capitol Hill pipe bomber

Subotai Bahadur | July 5, 2023 at 7:33 pm

The inability to use both the standard security measures [cameras] in the WH along with standard law enforcement techniques would indicate that the person who left the cocaine is a member of the Nomenklatura who must be protected at all costs . . . including the reputations of the Secret Service and White House Police, such as they are.

Keep in mind that in the absence of the rule of law, and with the active cooperation of the media, the outcome has already been decided.

Subotai Bahadur

E Howard Hunt | July 5, 2023 at 8:01 pm

A careful perusal of the Prophecies of Nostrildamus will reveal the culprit.

Hunter was eating a powdered donut at the time….

henrybowman | July 5, 2023 at 11:40 pm

“You guys don’t have cameras? Cannot test for fingerprints? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?”

It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.

Statement signed by fifty-one intelligence officials:
“We’re completely stumped!”

nordic prince | July 6, 2023 at 12:12 am

Lab Test Confirms Cocaine was in the White House, Likely Won’t Don’t Want To Find the Culprit


queue up the ending scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

“Our top men are looking in on it”
“Top Men”

“Even if there were surveillance cameras, unless you were waving it around, it may not have been caught” by the cameras.

Pro tip for the ‘investigators’ – Reverse the tape until the cocaine isn’t there, then slowly move it forward until it is. Arrest whoever is standing there.

You’re welcome.

Steven Brizel | July 6, 2023 at 8:35 am

Ask the First Son

Given the level of drug trafficking happening at the U.S.-Mexico border under the Biden administration, it’s not surprising that drugs would end up in the White House. I notice that Hunter Biden carries a big red backpack which probably holds a lot of drugs. He flies in on Marine One with POTUS father, so he’s able to enter without his bag being checked.

Anybody that would leave their computer with all kinds of evidence of illegal activity at a computer shop would also be careless with their backpack. Two plus two……

    Dimsdale in reply to Peabody. | July 7, 2023 at 9:37 am

    Why, he is like the perfect bagman, or mule, in this case.

    NOW we know what he does for the money…

not_a_lawyer | July 7, 2023 at 2:03 am

If any civil servant brought cocaine into the White House, they would be arrested by the Secret Service, turned over to the FBI, and prosecuted by the DOJ to the full extent of the law. The civil servants know this, particularly any of them that happen to be cocaine addicts.

We can safely assume it was not a civil servant.

Cocaine is a young man’s game. If you are still doing cocaine after 35-40 years of age, you have a serious addiction problem. I do not believe that Hunter is clean. He’s still doing blow.

Did Hunter not just accept a plea agreement? In these agreements, the defendant effectively surrenders their 4th Amendment rights against Search and Seizure. He can be forced to provide a blood sample at the will of the authorities.

The authorities need provide no reason to demand a blood sample from anyone under a plea agreement. No warrant is needed.

Garland: “The integrity of the DOJ is being impugned and this represents an attack on our democracy blah blah blah.”

Hey Merrick, send out the FBI to gather a blood sample from Hunter! Send half of your sample to your lab, and send the other half to an independent lab, who will report the results independently.

That would demonstrate some degree of impartiality and restore some degree of the people’s trust in your so-called ‘integrity’.


Ah come on man! This is a nothing…. I mean Bidens and coke, 0bamas with poppers, Clintons (between Arkansides) blue dresses and carpets. It’s a den of iniquity now…. get over it. It’s not like it’s a special place… heaven forbid this would happen in The Temple of Democracy.