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“Journalists” Melt Down As Twitter Survives Mass Wokester Walkouts, Musk Brings Back the Babylon Bee

“Journalists” Melt Down As Twitter Survives Mass Wokester Walkouts, Musk Brings Back the Babylon Bee

“And … we just hit another all-time high in Twitter usage lol,” Musk tweeted late Thursday.

As predicted, Elon Musk officially taking over Twitter last month has brought forth a neverending stream of inject into my veins-style moves by the billionaire investor, including his (now-delayed) rollout of the $8/month verified blue check subscription plan, mandating employees actually show up for work, canning tantrum-throwing longtimers who openly declared mutiny, and the email ultimatum he issued earlier this week to be prepared for “working long hours at high intensity” because of his desire to make the company “extremely hardcore.”

If you don’t like it, you can leave the company, the email said in so many words, according to a Washington Post report:

Elon Musk issued an ultimatum to Twitter employees Wednesday morning: Commit to a new “hardcore” Twitter or leave the company with severance pay.

Twitter is shifting to an engineer-driven operation — one that “will need to be extremely hardcore” going forward, according to the midnight email, which was obtained by The Washington Post. Employees were asked to click an icon and respond by Thursday if they wanted to stay.

“This will mean working long hours at high intensity,” he said. “Only exceptional performance will constitute a passing grade.”

As a result, mass resignations and walkouts happened, leaving the Very Online Left and their allies in the mainstream media predicting that Twitter would collapse between that and the layoffs, with some of the prognosticators posting where they could be found in the aftermath:

Except it didn’t collapse:

Further, many noted that it was impressive that Twitter could still be functioning as well as it was considering how many employees had either left or had been laid off:

Capcom content creator Oliver Campbell posted a interesting thread explaining “what Elon Musk is likely doing” with the demands he made of Twitter employees this week:

Musk seemingly confirmed some of Campbell’s observations here:

To make matters worse for the doomers and gloomers on the left, Musk officially reinstated the Babylon Bee’s Twitter account:

Musk, who is now on the radars of some powerful Democrats including President Biden and Sen. Ed Markey, also posted a poll asking users to vote on whether former President Donald Trump should be allowed back on the platform. As of this writing, it’s gotten close to 11 million votes:

There’s no telling what Musk might do next, but it’s probably a good idea to go ahead and stock up on the popcorn just in case anyone needs extra help with letting his decisions “sink in.”

— Stacey Matthews has also written under the pseudonym “Sister Toldjah” and can be reached via Twitter. —

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Comments

Might have to get on Twitter after all!!

    JohnSmith100 in reply to ssns4ever. | November 19, 2022 at 11:31 pm

    I completely deserted Twitter in 2018. I have just a week or two ago Started looking at it again, Just 2 days after Musk took control posted using a new alias posted to Musk that Trump should be brought back, that his truthful tweets were funny, and that the adversaries chased their own tails was even funnier. I was promptly censored.

    I filed an appeal, citing the fact that their conduct was likely to lead to termination.

    I have been involved in acquisition and restructuring of unprofitable companies in the past. They first thing you do is trim the number of employees. There are always hurt feelings.

Fox News recently reported that the median pay at Twitter was $282,000. For that pay, Elon Musk has a lot of nerve asking employees to show up and work hard. /s

    gonzotx in reply to jb4. | November 19, 2022 at 6:54 pm

    Can I get a job there? He can move his headquarters to Austin, he already has Tesla moved.
    And I might say it’s a ridiculously monstrous building. Humongous.

      thad_the_man in reply to gonzotx. | November 19, 2022 at 9:06 pm

      Not Texas. Maybe Oklahoma, or Nebraska. Just spread the tech around the country.

      The only reason it’s “Silicon valley” is because of HP and Apple.

The right is pretty much off Twitter so the vote is pretty nonsensical

Not sure why he would do this

    amatuerwrangler in reply to gonzotx. | November 19, 2022 at 8:02 pm

    If I were a betting man, I would put my $$ on the square saying this is an invitation to to Right to come back to Twitter or to sign up so they could participate in the vote…. or if a never-Trumper, a chance to vote against. In a word: recruitment.

    But I could be wrong, its happened before.

It appears the layoffs were very different than portrayed. In fact the majority of the hardware engineers and software programmers stayed in their seats. The reason is obvious. Who wouldn’t want to be in the technology department of a firm now affiliated by common ownership with the world’s premier satellite internet company, the world’s premier electric vehicle company, and the world’s premier space company. All of whom have had both hardware and software engineers and techs that have been with the firms for decades and are considered among the best in the world? Talk about a chance to get ahead.

    BierceAmbrose in reply to puhiawa. | November 20, 2022 at 10:27 pm

    This.

    There’s a robust sub-literature in managing “gold collar workers”, meaning essentially professionals in a domain: engineers, doctors, scientists, technicians, statisticians, etc.

    Net of that literature: people who identify with *their profession* before *their company*, based on *skill and peer position in that profession* are “hard to manage.” They aren’t. They want an opportunity to do the thing they’re good at and identify with. The Organization provides them the opportunity to do more, better, cooler, than they could by themselves.

    Many called “engineers” aren’t built this way. BUT, many are.

    These people foam at the mouth at the chance to go “hard core.”

Twitter. Ukraine. The 1st casualty of war is truth. Wait til the smoke clears; pile up the bodies; measure territory gained. ‘Extremely hardcore’ determination often decides winners and losers.

Dems are afraid honest fact checking on Twitter will expose their lies. CBS fears exposing dem lies and CBS coverups.

Agree with the whales analogy.

Poll just closed.
15 million votes, Trump won 51.8%.
Dem showflakes are melting across the globe. Yawn!

The lefties are upset bc they can longer count upon Twitter to push their narrative and downgrade or remove dissenting voices. There really isn’t a competitor at scale for Twitter that is also the backbone communication platform for the establishment and thought leaders. Nothing else Jas it’s reach and utility. It scares the d/prog that they have to compete in the marketplace of ideas.

The Twatter morons are melting down because literally for the entire existence of the company the goal of the company and employees HAS NOT BEEN TO MAKE MONEY.

Their goal all along has to just been to push their ideological crap. Making money has never even been on their radar.

That’s why Musk is going through the company with a chainsaw – because effectively the entire company has been staffed with ideological nutbags that provide ZERO value to the company. They were staffed with exclusively SJW insane ideologues, and the actual technical work was outsourced to contractors.

This isn’t like a regular company where new management comes in and streamlines the process by firing underperformers.

Elon is firing a huge amount of people THAT DID NOTHING for the company at any point in their existence, whose positions at Twitter should never have existed in the first place!

Jobs like ‘Niceness Maestro’ and ‘Trending Topics Curator’ should never have existed in the first place – those REAL POSITIONS at former Twitter, I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP.

    JohnSmith100 in reply to Olinser. | November 19, 2022 at 11:39 pm

    When I was involved in restructuring companies it was difficult cutting people, but in the case of Twitter employees it would be fun kicking the dim wads to the curb. It is a shame that I am too old to get in on this.

    Dimsdale in reply to Olinser. | November 20, 2022 at 6:15 pm

    They know less about making money than they do about economics.

“…canning tantrum-throwing longtimers who openly declared mutiny”
I’m old enough to remember when this was SOP for every corporation in America. Why did 99% of CEOs get stupid enough to land us in today’s fantasyland, where employees run companies and students run colleges?

So the people who stayed around were the actual STEM people, and the touchy-feely studies commissars got shown the door. Again, Musk shows how a Chad runs a company. If I weren’t retired, I’d have a resume on that man’s desk.

And fuck Ed Markey. Fuck him with a 12-foot saguaro.

And oh yeah:

“CBS News and its owned and operated stations are “pausing” activity on Twitter; blaming “uncertainty” on the platform.”

That alone should raise both the average IQ and the average truth content on Twitter.

Does anyone realize that all those positions are for things like developing new software, fixing bugs in old software, maintaining users, selling advertisers?

Looking at the whole operation, the majority of work is in the server farms, which are probably not even owned by Twitter. Probably they are owned by Amazon (AWS ) but Bezos doesn’t want it known. Unlike parler he doesn’t want to lose their business.

    JohnSmith100 in reply to thad_the_man. | November 19, 2022 at 11:45 pm

    There is a huge difference between coders and actual engineers. The same is true for productivity. With the mentality in Twitter, there is a shit load of underperforming staff.

      BierceAmbrose in reply to JohnSmith100. | November 20, 2022 at 10:36 pm

      “With the mentality in Twitter, there is a shit load of underperforming staff.”

      This.

      You could smell that from miles off. I never could account for their headcount, given what the place actually did, even with a culture of entanglement and infinite meetings. Now that I know gaggles weren’t even coming in, I can make it tie out.

      Doesn’t mean you need them around for doing real work, tho…

      BierceAmbrose in reply to JohnSmith100. | November 20, 2022 at 10:45 pm

      “There is a huge difference between coders and actual engineers.”

      So many don’t get that. Former boss of mine wouldn’t hire CS grads, for a massively software-dominated program, or any other similar ones before or after that one.

      I had the best time at the local U’s Engineering Senior Project dog and pony show, this past spring. Actual thinking, with multiple models at once. Refreshing.

I remember Rush Limbaugh talking about when his sponsors got shellacked by bots. He did some kind of investigation and found out it was a super high percentage of leftist bots causing the ruckus. He never really explained how or what he found which was kind of frustrating.
Elon though may have played the bots (from both sides) by doing the poll about reinstating Trump. Elon mentioned in a tweet about how interesting it was to see the bots at work. So was the poll also a plan to out the bots in some fashion?

    MoJack in reply to 4fun. | November 20, 2022 at 9:44 am

    “So was the poll also a plan to out the bots in some fashion?”

    Agreed. I’d say it’s a safe bet Elon’s up to something besides deciding whether or not to reinstate Trump.

Musk called in the ‘Bobs’

“Just what is it you DO here?”

I think it’s safe to say that most of the Twitter employees had never taken an economics class–how long did they think a company losing money could afford to pay them astronomical salaries to do nothing but censor conservatives, drink wine, and meditate?

The Campbell thread quoted in the article is bang on. When I was drop=in guy, granted at smaller scale, doling out test activities n calibrating was really management task 0.

With transparent performance practices in place, many of the parasites self-select out. That’s good. Firing is inconvenient, and high-overhead. Conveniently the same kind of transparent performance practices that encourage some folks to eject also build the record for people who decline to take the hint.