What is wrong with this sentence?

From The Daily News editorial cheering the draconian gun control law passed in NY State with no public discussion, no public debate, no normal waiting period, no time for Senators to read it, no likelihood of actually reducing crime, but great likelihood of making criminals of otherwise law abiding citizens who run afoul of its unusual provisions and who are not David Gregory:

No longer would would-be murderers be legally permitted to buy obscene amounts  of ammunition, enabling them to squeeze the trigger again, and again, and again,  in quick succession.

Oooh, the would-be murderers are shaking in their boots.  They’ll either completely disregard the law and buy illegal weapons from the same people who sell all the other illegal stuff — because they are, after all, “would-be murderers” — or they’ll bring two guns with them, or multiple magazines.

As to the “obscene amounts of ammunition,” they’ll buy a little at a time and stock up.  Never thought of that, did you Daily News.  You need to start thinking like a would-be murderer.

All the honest, law-abiding citizens, well they’ll wait longer to get a permit or will just give up trying.

The law-abiding citizens will be effectively disarmed.  The would-be murderers are laughing all the way to the nearest gun-free zone.

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