I’ve been feeling lately that maybe I took the wrong career path.

Investment law is interesting and satisfying, but I can’t escape the gnawing feeling that there could have been other, even more titillating fields in which to concentrate.

Cornell Prof. Michael Lynn obviously is having no such career doubts:

Prof. Michael Lynn, marketing and tourism, surveyed 374 waitresses about their perceived “sexiness,” breast size and other physical characteristics and correlated these results with the amount of tips the waitresses received.

His results indicate that evolutionary instinct trumps the ideals many patrons profess. Though most customers say they reward service, Lynn reports that quality of service has less than a 2-percent effect on the actual tip.

Instead, he found that waitresses with larger bra sizes received higher tips — as did women with blonde hair and slender bodies.

While this may seem self-evident to some, Lynn said that “it’s always important to test what seems like obvious cultural wisdom.”

Uh huh. He’s just trying to provide career services to people in need:

Lynn explained that his study could be useful to a potential waitress as it can help gauge her “prospects in the industry.”

Uh huh. Not going to make many friends in academia with this advice:

“[Restaurants] might very well want to hire waitresses who will earn larger tips,” Lynn said. “[These employees] can largely be identified through their physical characteristics.”

For those of you who want to read the full study, the research paper is titled Determinants and Consequences of Female Attractiveness and Sexiness: Realistic Tests with Restaurant Waitresses. There are no pictures, so don’t bother clicking, gentlemen.

It seems that I’ve heard this story before. Video link, please.

Update: Jules Crittenden explains it all.

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